MetaChat - Negative Self Talk!

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09 March 2006

Negative Self Talk! What do you say to yourself when you do something stupid?

→[More:]The voice in my head calls me a "drunk-ass whore." Even when I'm not drunky or whore-ish. Like this morning, trying to do my hair to get ready for work. Pretty hysterical.

post by: rainbaby at: 11:40 | 48 comments

"I am a moron."

posted by jonmc 09 March | 11:44

...you motherfucker...

or

...what a fucking dumbass.

posted by sciurus 09 March | 11:45

"Eh, fuck it".

posted by cmonkey 09 March | 11:47

Whaddareyou? An idiot?

posted by tr33hggr 09 March | 11:47

Shut UP, fats. Lard ass. Moronica. Neurotica. Or, simple & to the point & usually in my father's voice: JeSUS KeeRIST! What in the goddamn HELL is the MATTER with you?

posted by mygothlaundry 09 March | 11:48

You're such an airhead.

You're such a fucking idiot.

Feels weird to type it out, but there you go!

posted by Miko 09 March | 11:51

Fuck me!

posted by shane 09 March | 11:52

Wow that was a rare and liberating lapse of judgement, go buy yourself something expensive you handsome devil!

posted by Divine_Wino 09 March | 11:57

Heh. Good question.

I'm pretty easy on myself; it doesn't usually get much tougher than Stupid... stupid... stupid. Always the three times, though. That's the rule. Sometimes, Idiot!

on preview, oh yeah! Fuck me! too. But I usually say that when I don't really think it's my fault.

posted by taz 09 March | 11:57

Divine Wino: You are model of mental health. I'll be trying to adopt your strategy.

I say Fuck Me! all the time, too, like Taz and Shane. But I agree -- it's usually just an expletive, used when I get a parking ticket or stub my toe or something that doesn't seem like a personality failure.

posted by Miko 09 March | 12:00

For me it's "Tom, you idiot!"

I am my own harshest critic.

posted by tommasz 09 March | 12:01

Usually it involves the word idiot.

posted by matildaben 09 March | 12:03

I don't really do it so much in words. Small stupids, I kinda mentally roll my eyes with a gah or something. Big stupids I kind of get a little hot then angry.

posted by porpoise 09 March | 12:04

I say whore over and over again in my head (I do eventually stop). Weird.

posted by Uncle Glendinning 09 March | 12:05

Divine Wino: You are model of mental health.

I am fairly sure that's the first time that sentence has ever been uttered in any form.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 12:05

"Jerry, you're a moron."

Not that my name is Jerry -- it makes me feel better to project the blame on someone else. For reasons having nothing to do with the guy or his ideas, I blame Jerry Fodor.

posted by orthogonality 09 March | 12:06

I have a surprisingly foul internal monologue when I'm frustrated with myself. I can get pretty creative.

posted by mike9322 09 March | 12:10

Divine Wino: You are model of mental health. I'll be trying to adopt your strategy.

When you do adopt it leave off the tone of withering sarcasm and scorn that I usually use on myself, much more effective.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 March | 12:13

Aha! I swear to myself in different languages (greek and english). Malako! (greek for jerk-woman) Zoon! (greek for animal/brute) And in english(with an accent, please) "where the hell is my brain?" And the assortment of fuck, asshole, etc.
Come to think of it, I really verbally abuse myself.

posted by carmina 09 March | 12:14

I thought 'malaka,' had a whole different meaning.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 12:16

Jonm, maybe I don't want to ask...

posted by carmina 09 March | 12:20

jonmc, that is.

posted by carmina 09 March | 12:20

(not so bad, I just thought it was Greek for 'jerk-off.')

posted by jonmc 09 March | 12:20

"Oh for fuck's sake."

posted by moonbird 09 March | 12:22

(literally yes, widely used so that it took a broader meaning, occassionally affectionate even!)

posted by carmina 09 March | 12:27

Shithole, dogshit, fucko, fuckface, shitbird, you fuck, you fucking fuck, mother of shit, ratfuck, you eat shit, eat my shit, you dick, goddamn asshole, stupid goddamn dogshit-eating motherfucker.... The list goes on.

posted by Hugh Janus 09 March | 12:28

Everyone's a malaka!!!!!!!!

carmina, are you in Greece?

posted by taz 09 March | 12:29

in Astoria, (the Greekest place in the world outside of Greece) it seems mostly to be uttered about bosses, in-laws or during bar-fights or traffic accidents.

posted by jonmc 09 March | 12:29

I also say "D'oh!" a lot. Or, alternatively, "D'oh-eth!" Not so much quoting Homer Simpson as quoting my former roommate of 8 years who quoted the Simpsons (yes, living together, you do pick up each other's mannerisms).

posted by matildaben 09 March | 12:33

taz, from greece and in new york.

posted by carmina 09 March | 12:38

So, where in Greece - and when are we going to have the smallest meetup evar?! :)

posted by taz 09 March | 12:47

hey,taz! you are in Thessaloniki. I was there for Xmas. See you in summer, then!

posted by carmina 09 March | 12:49

Yay!! The first-ever Thessaloniki meetup! I thought I'd never see the day.

posted by taz 09 March | 12:53

"Idiot!"

Occasionally - "My God, Petrie! We are too late! The fiend has eluded us!"

posted by warbaby 09 March | 12:57

When I see the results of my bad judgement, I kind of scream at myself: "WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?? WHAT AM I LOOKING AT??"

posted by StickyCarpet 09 March | 12:58

"It's okay. You did dumb thing. Just need to do it differently next time."

Then I kill a small mammal. Usually with a stick.

posted by jelly 09 March | 13:17

I don't have a default. But I really like "drunk-ass whore" and plan to adopt it in the future.

posted by jrossi4r 09 March | 13:56

"You handsome clod."

posted by Eideteker 09 March | 14:04

Nice one, dumbass.

posted by bmarkey 09 March | 14:10

Mine is like Hugh's, but is just a stream profanity, lacking cogent ideas like "eat my shit"

posted by Capn 09 March | 14:24

"You fucking loser." Or my curse stream: shitpissdamnhellmotherfuckingcocksucker.

posted by deborah 09 March | 14:31

"I am a moron." ditto for me.

posted by chewatadistance 09 March | 14:37

I'm a "Goddam it, you idiot" kind of girl.

I've been saying it a lot lately, too.

posted by mudpuppie 09 March | 15:09

I ask myself what kind of an idiot do I think I am, & then respond that I think I’m a fucking stupid one.

posted by misteraitch 09 March | 16:02

Mine is always: "fucking CUNT!!". Note the idiosyncratic cpaitalisation and two (2) exclamation marks.

This also works very well when someone else is to blame, and is especially good for berating malfunctioning software and slow-to-load web pages.

posted by nomis 09 March | 17:02

"Doh!"
"Fucking A!"
"You dumbass!"
"Good one!"

posted by sisterhavana 09 March | 17:42

"God-FUCKING-dammit dumb fucking piece of shit!" or some variation thereon.

posted by killdevil 09 March | 17:46

a little fire should clean that up. yes.. fire, clean all the souls, all the unclean souls. can you hear them laughing seanyboy, laughing when they could be crackling, the burnt fat sooty smell cleaning all your mistakes away. you know what it is you want, seanyboy. no one will ever tell.

posted by seanyboy 09 March | 17:57

← So... || Dodgy, →

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