MetaChat - What do your secret valentines say?!

I posted mine in my profile. This is the most mysterious:

This Valentine will just get lost in the thousands that you are bound to receive, so I'll just send my anonymous smoochies and be on my way. Love, Inferiority Complex

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 February | 15:01

This one cracked my shit up:

You're so hot I lose my breath. You make me want to write a Gasp Ode.

posted by gaspode 14 February | 15:03

Dear mosch, why didn't you ever call me? I'm waiting for you.... Signed, Your Latin Lover

And a bunch of super-sweet ones that embarassed me (but in a good way)

posted by mosch 14 February | 15:05

TPS: Bah ha! That one was mine. Tee hee. Sorry to ruin the mystery

posted by mike9322 14 February | 15:06

I'm going to be walking around with a big, goofy grin all day today.

Best Valentines Day ever. Seriously.

I heart you all.

posted by mudpuppie 14 February | 15:07

Yaaaay I'm glad the mystery is solved!

And mosch, the one from your Latin Lover was penned by me :-D

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 February | 15:10

Out of curiosity, why are you adding your valentines to your profile? Mine are for me and me alone!

posted by eamondaly 14 February | 15:12

Someone told me they want to have my Meta babies! Woo!

posted by Specklet 14 February | 15:13

I'm not going to add mine because it's obvious who a few of them are from and I don't want to embarrass anybody. But I had way too much fun making up silly rhymes and sending valentines to my crushes!

posted by iconomy 14 February | 15:17

I got very nice ones. You're all awesome.

I think you're the cutest, and I know that half the girls (and some of the guys) on Metachat have major crushes on you. So stop yer sobbing and get yourself some luuuuurve!

I need names! So I can send photos of kittens and notes of reciprocity!

posted by cmonkey 14 February | 15:21

Ah HA! It was your who wrote the darling thing about truffles!

posted by Specklet 14 February | 15:21

actually, that was me, Specklet

posted by gaspode 14 February | 15:26

I got one unbelievably flattering one describing me as 'hella hawt.' I have no clue who it's from.

posted by jonmc 14 February | 15:27

I so totally have a crush on you, chewie. There, I said it. Smooch!

I'm loved! I'm loved! [scuttles off, glowing and jabbering at no one]

posted by chewatadistance 14 February | 15:30

My faves:

Happy V-Day cutie. Take care of jonmc for us :-)

Since I need a drink and so does he, I will.

You've got more sexy than a Sunday morning has hangovers.

Awww... but those Sundays are best spent in bed, you know. ^_~

GevfunYlaa vf gur orfg! Fur vf znqr bs jva naq tbbq!

Um, WTF? I'm going to assume you said something about my hotness, and we'll leave it at that.

Hey, you hottie! Love the corset pix.

*wink* There are a few more where that came from.

posted by TrishaLynn 14 February | 15:30

Check out my ultracool naughty one, after I complained that everyone was too polite (since they think I can see their names):

dirty filthy filthy dirty ridiculous and semi-flirty rude and rousing intensely arousing pretending that we are not spousing hot hot hot, a shocking blot on values Biblical and manners rabbinical (a lust that's *rabbitical*) please send a reply just as naughty -- just guess my ID (hint: I'm not Shannon Dougherty) *your ever so secret crush*

HAH! this is going on my gravestone.

I also got the fantastically beautiful:

Dearest Valentine You deserve a gift of a thousand silver bees that would serve your every whim. Queen of the bees, you would be...

And now I just got one that made me cry because it was so sweet. Wowie. I would share that one, but it says too many nice things about me... *blushes*

Also, I got the greatest payment plan ever for "compensation for metachat": A wonderful night of passion, followed by cuddling. Woot!

posted by taz 14 February | 15:30

And when do these come down? Because I wanna save the screen cap so I can squee over them on future single V-Days to come.

posted by TrishaLynn 14 February | 15:32

PS: also, henceforth, would everyone please remember to address me as: GLORIOUSLY HOT, INCREDIBLY FUNNY, MULTITALENTED, URBANE AND NEVER MUNDANE TAZ?

'K? That would be great, thanks.

posted by taz 14 February | 15:32

Um, WTF? I'm going to assume you said something about my hotness, and we'll leave it at that.

Well, it looks to me like either the Swedish Chef or Beaker has the hots on for ya. Or someone spilled alphabet soup.

posted by jonmc 14 February | 15:32

TrishaLynn, the personal secret messages? They'll still be up tomorrow... After that, not so much.

posted by taz 14 February | 15:35

This one cracked me up:

Well, I feel weird sending a Valentine to a member of the clergy and all, but maybe you could find it in your heart to turn your back on the church for just one day and do some naughty stuff? The good thing about Catholicism is you can do whatever you want and just feel guilty about it. So whattya say?

I'm Jewish. ; ) ; ) ; )

posted by sisterhavana 14 February | 15:37

a Jewish nun is beyond cool

posted by matteo 14 February | 15:39

I like this one:

*Cold Canadians make me HAWT.

posted by richat 14 February | 15:41

Heh taz, at least two of those are from me, and I know you've guessed at least one of them. So much for my egotistical claims of discretion! (Note to self: after successfully committing gloriously evil crime, do NOT send mocking note to authorities.)

Oh and I am keeping mine to myself. I like squirming!

posted by melissa may 14 February | 15:42

surprisingly, some of you seem to have a penguin kink

posted by penguinbukkake 14 February | 15:43

I have nothing so obviously from anyone that is simultaneously incriminating. I hope no one is offended! I will intersperse my own nearly humorous commentary.

* slaiej alifja hujt! - ?? ROT13, this is "fynvrw nyvswn uhwg". I am no closer to the cure for cancer, if it's encoded there somewhere.
* Non-erotic heterosexual Valentine admiration from a MetaChat dude! - ? Thank you, mystery man.
* Dear Eideteker, have obtained your extensive FBI file, and find I want to explore the general footpath of the future with you. If you agree, please leave a signal in the usual place. Someone will contact you with my supersecret contact info. ps: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, YOU MANIAC!!!!!!!!!! XXXXOOOOO - ? Wins my heart for being clever and endearing.
* You are the bunniest bun bun that ever there was! I whuffle you profusely. - Specklet! Has to be!
* Hey sexy, have a make-out-alicous V-Day! - ? I hope this person is cute and not averse to actual making out. Oh, and is female.
* Happy Valentine's Day, cutie! - ? I'm not cute! I am handsome.
* You're cute! - ? Again with the cutes! This means nothing without you in my pants.
* Test! - Ok, I admit it. I sent myself a message. I just feel clever for figuring it out.
* okay fine, i'll send you one. warning: i'm a dude. - ? Thank you, dude.
* I still can't pronounce your name. Ei-dek-tekter? Happy 2/14 anyway. - ? Here is a link: for you.
* Happy Valentine's Day! Here's another to add to your count! - ? So glad it's not a popularity contest. ;)
* happy valentine's day to the hottest cornellian i know! - ? I think I know who sent this, and I think I'm also the only Cornellian she knows. But hey, a compliment is a compliment!
* Somebunny loves you! - ? Aww! Shucks. ... Um... Are we talking "love" love, or just "let's fuck!" love? Just checking.
* Roll over, baby, I've got one for you right here! - quonsar, I've told you why it will never work between us.

If anyone got one from me and wants to know if it was from me, let me know. I really don't care about anonymity. It's the fucking Internet. What, are you going to hate me for loving you?

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 15:44

Mine accused me of critical mental instability, then professed amorous intentions, and then went on to imply that I was to have chocolate orally slobbered all over me by a bunny.

Sounds like a hot date. ;)

posted by loquacious 14 February | 15:45

Sisterhavana: That was mine. Tee hee! Unfortunately, as we established in the other thread, geography is a problem.

Also, someone is allegedly crushing on me. Woo fucking hoo!

posted by mike9322 14 February | 15:48

My very favoritest (and I think I know who it's from):

pupps is my favorite, she's the best, she's even better than joan fucking jett.

*sighs*

I also like the one that makes reference of my segmented eyes, which I thought I'd been good about keeping secret:

Who's the hottest mudpuppie of them all? Who can wrestle in the mud with the greatest of ease? Who’s beloved of all gals and guys? Who makes all of the Mechites weak in the knees? Who's got segmented eyes? It's Muddy Mudpuppie, it's Muddy Mudpuppie It's the Muddy Mudpuppie show!

posted by mudpuppie 14 February | 15:48

Can you send more than one valentine to the same person? I'm just curious since I think I accidentally sent two to one person. Not that it matters.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 14 February | 16:03

I don't type and tell, but some of you made my damn day. Thank you.

posted by rainbaby 14 February | 16:08

oh, yes! And it's highly recommended!

posted by taz 14 February | 16:08

I think you're the cutest, and I know that half the girls (and some of the guys) on Metachat have major crushes on you. So stop yer sobbing and get yourself some luuuuurve!

I need names! So I can send photos of kittens and notes of reciprocity!

cmonkey, that was me.

Smooch smooch smooch. If I loved girls, then I'd totally love you.

Oh I so wish that is from either dame or gaspode.

My crush you drives *my* Metachat engine, baby! Happy V-Day!

This person was so smitten that s/he forgot the word "on".

...and about 10 referring to my radio sets.

posted by matildaben 14 February | 16:11

nope, 'tilda that wasn't from me... but I didn't reference radio sets either. ?I hope it worked!

posted by gaspode 14 February | 16:15

"Dude. We totally need to go do someone's mom together, I think that would be great. Seriously. Happy Valentines Day."

Oh, SassHat, you minx. (I'm guessing. It's either that, or YOUR MOM. Which leads to recursive-mom-doing, and that's not something I like to think of in mixed company. In public, at least.)

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 16:25

many people seem to want me to dissect them. Hrrm.

posted by gaspode 14 February | 16:25

I have had some fun ones and one really hot one
but I'm not clear where the bananas go.

posted by arse_hat 14 February | 16:26

* Hey sexy, have a make-out-alicous V-Day! - Specklet, that was me.

And what are segmented eyes?

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 February | 16:28

I just wanna get embalmed with you, 'pode.

posted by jonmc 14 February | 16:36

I got a rock.

just kidding, I do actually have one sweet one so far, thanks!

posted by krix 14 February | 16:37

The segmented eyes valentine is a Ren and Stimpy reference. It's the Muddy Mudskipper song. I've got it here somewhere if anyone wants to hear it.

posted by dodgygeezer 14 February | 16:43

Just a quick note to inform you that you have been officially designated as "dangerously hot." You may be personally responsible for global warming. You may be in violation of the Kyoto Protocol.

Tehehehehe.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 14 February | 16:47

I only got one, and it was addressed to "Occupant".

posted by orthogonality 14 February | 16:55

The segmented eyes valentine is a Ren and Stimpy reference.

Uh, btw, that doesn't mean that that one was from me.

posted by dodgygeezer 14 February | 17:09

I wanna hear the Muddy Mudskipper song!!!

(I mean - who wouldn't?)

posted by taz 14 February | 17:13

I love that song! Gimmie gimmie!

Can you send more than one valentine to the same person?

I've sent three to one person. So far. Hee!

posted by Specklet 14 February | 17:15

"you drive me crazy - and I mean that in the nicest possible way."

Sweet, I love any woman whose buttons I can push. Especially love buttons. Now I just wish I knew whose they were, so we could run away to the Casbah.

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 17:20

Happy, happy, joy, joy! It's the Muddy Mudskipper song!

posted by dodgygeezer 14 February | 17:25

I am honestly surprised at the kindness. Thanks all.

Oh, my beloved ice-cream bar, how I LOVE to lick your creamy center....

How did you know my sweet spot!?

And much respect to the person to tried to rhyme 'dude' with 'Freud'.

Finally, to the person to sent me one very early on: I don't believe you, but that was pretty sweet of you to say.

posted by danostuporstar 14 February | 17:27

And much respect to the person to tried to rhyme 'dude' with 'Freud'.

Jesus, that's funny.

posted by dodgygeezer 14 February | 17:34

Thank you for not calling the police that one time

hahahahaha! HA!!

Seriously. OMFG. I've laughed so much.

aaaarggggh...mmmpf... ack.

I'm dyin' here.

posted by taz 14 February | 17:45

But I had way too much fun making up silly rhymes and sending valentines to my crushes!

My face is red and my head's in a whirl, as I write this to my favorite trailer girl.

This must be from iconomy! Awww, thanks!

posted by deborah 14 February | 17:54

Valentine's day is a day of wonder and romance. Of poetry, and grand gestures. Symphonies and the finest chocolates. But forget all of that crap. Let's hump like little rabbits until our naughty bits are rubbed raw!

Okay, to whoever sent me that?

I loooove you and I want to have your babies! Yes! Yes, my darling!

posted by mygothlaundry 14 February | 17:56

TrishaLynn, your message: "GevfunYlaa vf gur orfg! Fur vf znqr bs jva naq tbbq!" is apparently ROT13 encoded. It says "TrishaLynn is the best! She is made of win and good!"

posted by knave 14 February | 18:00

She is made of win and good!

That's better than that one girl I met who was made of gin and wood.

posted by nomis 14 February | 18:05

# Nowhere in your FBI file is there any information about how wonderful you are. Too bad. xoxoxoxo - I hope this one's serious! If so, I'm blushing. And I am not one to blush lightly! But I have been made to do so two other times today! You go, MetaChat!
# You can rock my casbah anytime. - E-mail's in the profile, sweetheart!

MGL: Would you believe that was me? Dammit, why didn't I send that one, instead of the undying love one?

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 18:05

I have 2 lovely valentines which I shall cherish.

posted by knave 14 February | 18:09

Somebunny loves you!

Somebunny is using form letter valentines!

posted by knave 14 February | 18:10

/me fishes quarter from my pocket, drops it in the jukebox, and punches up "Modern English / I Melt With You" for the cute girl across the pooltable.

You are the epitome of epitomes.

Just to let you all know (especially these two charmers here, the latter of whom has coined the most creative description of me ever used) that inside the gruff, stoic exterior is a TOTAL CUPCAKE.

Dame, I also got the ;-).

The rest of the Valentines are generous and/or kind, and a few seem too potentially identifiable, so I won't reproduce them here. And yeah, I'm not sending mine until later. Figured I might ought to tie one on first.

posted by rebirtha 14 February | 18:13

... that one girl I met who was made of gin and wood.

nomis! You met this wonder of a girl, and let her go? Fool! *sigh*

posted by taz 14 February | 18:16

The gin was fine. In fact it was all good until I noticed the wood...

posted by nomis 14 February | 18:24

Dude. We totally need to go do someone's mom together, I think that would be great. Seriously. Happy Valentines Day.

Sorry, fella. That was so not me. Maybe it was my mom?

posted by SassHat 14 February | 18:31

Then I will have to go on hoping yours is one that made me blush. I can't stomach the thought you didn't send me one.

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 18:37

You people all got valentines?

posted by tangerine 14 February | 18:42

Yes, but only after whining about how unloved we were.

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 18:54

(PS: whining about not getting naughty valentines will also snag you a few of those! Yay!)

posted by taz 14 February | 19:00

I'd send you a really sweet Valentine but as I wasn't on ANY of your lists, guess I'll just stick with Happy Valentine's Day. A bientot.

Aw, shucks. I can just only hold so many things in my aging memory at once. Tell me who you are and I'll send you a bunch!

posted by matildaben 14 February | 19:03

I didn't get any naughty valentines!

*pouts*

posted by SassHat 14 February | 19:07

Hey everybody, I've got no naughty valentines!

*checks messages*

posted by nomis 14 February | 19:07

Huh, and I thought my Valentine to Sasshat WAS naughty. Apparently I need to brush up. Instead of "a good rogering", what are the kids saying these days?

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 19:12

heh. "brisk," I think.

posted by taz 14 February | 19:23

"sex-ay hatted beast!"

Man I like that tag. A lot.

posted by arse_hat 14 February | 19:27

Yes, the rogerings must be brisk.

posted by matildaben 14 February | 19:27

# What's cute about you: energy, fun, zest for life. You've got it all. Keep the girls busy.
# Because you make me laugh, and your name makes me think of eiderdowns which are snuggly and comforting.

Tee hee! I think these two might even be from separate people. I wish I knew who you were so I could hug you! And then administer brisk rogerings as necessary.

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 19:34

*blushes*

Got a few naughty ones now!

posted by SassHat 14 February | 19:46

Mine have fallen into three camps:

1. Really nice recovery advice that is well appreciated

2. Really sexy little propositions that are fully worth considering, and

3. Really friendly fun messages that remind me how great y'all are.

Of course, I'm most curious about the 2s....

posted by Miko 14 February | 19:49

I have a few I'd call risqué, but nothing naughty. Not that I want any naughty ones. Uh uh, nope, not me.

posted by mike9322 14 February | 20:10

I got the ;-) too! Who could the mysterious smiler be? : )

posted by sisterhavana 14 February | 20:12

It's sort of like the mysterious Mona Lisa of the internet! What could be behind that enigmatic smile? ;)

- it's not me, btw

posted by taz 14 February | 20:17

I got no winks and no racy propositions. But my messages were so very sweet, I don't even mind.

You people give me the happiness.

posted by jrossi4r 14 February | 20:21

I just wrote a really racy one and I'm blushin'!

I have many sweet ones, and I got lots of mention of (The Glory) my boobs, but nothing I'd really consider naughty.

You could, uh, send me some naughty ones... y'know, if you wanted.

posted by Specklet 14 February | 20:24

I'm torn between wanting racy messages and not wanting racy message. By the way, I have no racy messages.

Take that collection of info and do with it what you will.

posted by mudpuppie 14 February | 20:26

Notice: Since my user profile is broken, please leave all racy, anonymous Valentines for me here. I promise not to peek. Thank you.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 14 February | 20:28

dear IRFH,

VROOM VROOM, baybee, oh yeah!

"Racy"! Get it?

No?

... Pleads drubk

posted by taz 14 February | 20:38

taz have you been into the Ouzo?

posted by arse_hat 14 February | 20:46

Aww, I am terribly disappointed at how few racy ones I got.

posted by cmonkey 14 February | 20:47

I would like some racy Valentines, but serious inquiries only. Quit playing games with my heart!

posted by Eideteker 14 February | 20:50

I still haven't got racy ones, but I don't mind. Also, bean, that was totally me.

posted by dame 14 February | 21:11

Arsey - No! Not the ouzo! Oh, no... pray you never see that!

But, yes, way into the wine, fer shur! :)

posted by taz 14 February | 21:16

cmonkey, I know you are totally faking. I left you several.

posted by matildaben 14 February | 21:56

I got one with sexual implications. The rest were very sweet. It's all good. Well, I was hoping to find that someone had a mad crush on me. :)

posted by kmellis 14 February | 22:13

Roses are red Violets are not I wanted to tell you Your sideburns are hot.

Awesome.

And apparently Cinnamon's a lucky girl.

posted by me3dia 14 February | 22:15

hee hee hee
all I'll say
is that I've been
widely quoted today

posted by melissa may 14 February | 22:24

... Happy VD!
Why would someone wish me a happy venereal deisease?

posted by dg 14 February | 22:39

Why would someone wish me a happy venereal deisease?

Because wishing you the oozy green kind would be just plain mean-spirited?

posted by mudpuppie 15 February | 00:32

You're right, matildaben. And they totally made my day awesome.

K I T T E N S!!!

posted by cmonkey 15 February | 01:02

Some of you mentioned that I make you laugh. I love that. That is high prase. Thanks.

posted by arse_hat 15 February | 01:46

Wow, a couple of you were... more generous than I expected.

I liked it, I mean.

posted by rebirtha 15 February | 02:14

It's Raining Florence Henderson, It's Raining Florence Henderson, you're so fun
It's Raining Florence Henderson, It's Raining Florence Henderson, you're my honey bun.
It's Raining Florence Henderson, It's Raining Florence Henderson, home run! Home run!

posted by flopsy 15 February | 03:22

My last two:

* Hot, man. Really hot.
* http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=3535410

Yay, Valentines!

posted by Eideteker 15 February | 07:41

I'm trying to figure out who wants to snog with me now. The last one I got is curiouser and curiouser.

posted by sciurus 15 February | 08:18

Baby, I'ma want you. xxoo, vampire ottoman, and the zombie throw-cushions

Heh. I got several funny ones.

I'm still annoyed that my cable modem died and I didn't get to finish sending messages though.

i thought that the one thing i could count on was that i'd have a crush on someone from arkansas. you ruined my plans.

Hee hee!

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 15 February | 08:50

14 February 2006