MetaChat - Last night in my sleep

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21 December 2005

Last night in my sleep I stuck my thumb in my eye.→[More:]
I mean, really fucking hard, and it hurts now. I have no idea why, or whether I was dreaming, or if I just moved wrong (well, duh!) but I wonder if I mightn't get a shiner from it. It's sore and I'm blinking a whole lot.

I also got an infuriating email from my controller at temp HQ timestamped yesterday at 5:30 requiring me to fill out and fax paperwork without which I won't be paid this week before I left the office (which I did at 5). On a day when the strike is fucking everybody's schedule up, to send an email like that? And get this. At the bottom of the email, it says:

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL.

If the trains were running I'd zip right across the river and shove my thumb in her eye.

post by: Hugh Janus at: 09:07 | 9 comments

Shit, dude, I do that when I'm awake and sober. I'm considering going through life wearing a helmet and swim goggles, just for my own safety.

And that e-mail? More proof that HR is the ultimate repository for dimwits.

posted by jonmc 21 December | 09:14

I'm just glad I don't sleep with any sharp sticks at hand.

posted by Hugh Janus 21 December | 09:53

I can understand why the evil HR minion wouldn't want you to respond to the email, it might lead to a postal-style situation. I guess that explains the timing and all. Situations like this always remind me of H.L. Menchen's essay bemoaning the shortage of suicides among college presidents.

posted by warbaby 21 December | 10:00

Okay everyone, thread hijack: Where's the weirdest place you've ever stuck your thumb?

Actually, let's not go there.....

posted by Doohickie 21 December | 10:41

And please don't respond to this post.

posted by Doohickie 21 December | 10:41

I defy your secondary request, Doohickie.

I stuck my thumb, along with my whole right arm, up the ass of an ostrich once.

posted by Hugh Janus 21 December | 10:57

My man looked like birdshit with a hat on, damn.

posted by jonmc 21 December | 11:02

I just snarfed coffee and now I have coffee in my nose.

posted by Specklet 21 December | 14:37

I have a thumb that wants to help you with that, Specklet.

I drafted four or five emails to my temp controller, none of which was up to my high standards of not warranting immediate expulsion, and finally sent this response, entitled "Happy Holidays:"

I just wanted to wish you happy holidays, and to tell you I appreciate your support over the year. As I look forward to continuing with good cheer into the new year, I'd like to thank you and all the folks at [redacted] for all you've done.

I hope the transit strike isn't causing you too many headaches, and that it won't snarl any travel plans you might have.

Thanks again and best wishes,

[Hugh Janus]

That oughtta shake her.

posted by Hugh Janus 21 December | 14:53

← And a MeCha Solstice to you, sir. || How about some strike sex? →

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