MetaChat - Putdown of the Year

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12 August 2005

Putdown of the Year A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"→[More:]

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

post by: Skrik at: 06:55 | 7 comments

Jack Dee's response to a heckler: Well, it's a night out for him, and a night off for his family.

posted by veedubya 12 August | 07:21

Perfect in every way, skrik! The built-in audience... the initial assumption of points-to-the-smartass... The thrilling, spotless divinity of an immaculate "rest of the story" comeback... Youth versus experience... this one has it all. I hope it's true.

posted by taz 12 August | 07:53

My English professor said that the only acceptable excuse on the day the papers were due was a signed note from your mortician.

Sounds like this smart-ass might be thinking about his mortician at this moment.

posted by sarah connor 12 August | 09:06

Mmmmm, Morticia.

posted by dg 12 August | 09:41

My mother was a college professor. Her policy was that she'd reschedule a test *if* the student informed her ahead of time. Even a voicemail half an hour before start time was ok, given a reasonable excuse. Exceptions were only for genuine emergencies (car breakdown on the way to the exam, etc.)

Her winning excuse was from the young man who told her "Sorry, professor, I was in jail and I had to use my one phone call for my lawyer." She let him retest.

posted by karmakaze 12 August | 17:04

True story? Nah, just a clever joke.

posted by o9scar 12 August | 22:36

True story? Nah, just a clever joke.

. . .the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student shakes her head, and sweetly says: 'Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with.'

picky: The other site's ending isn't as funny to me. And I don't think it's because the English Prof ended her statement with a preposition.

posted by Feisty 12 August | 23:56

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