Trodant's 30 Dicks
Local Bunny Trondant Donates Dicks for a Worthy Cause
MetaChat | June 21st, 2006 | 12:29, EST
Sass Hatterson, staff writer
In a stunning announcement this week, prominent MeChazen Trondant has announced a trade agreement with the scientific community that will provide untold discoveries in the field of stem cell research.
Trondant, known locally as "Goober," "The Goob," or "Trondo Bo Bondo," has negotiatied with leaders in the field for a trade of five of his once-innumerable dicks. He has agreed to give an unnamed research facility the extra penii in exchange for a memorial scholarship set up in his name. The memorial fund will assist other multiple-dicked individuals achieve their dreams of attending college.
The thirty dicks have long been a source of chatter for the IRC channel, #bunnies, as well as the MetaChat community at large.
"I hear [he once had] upwards of 30 dicks," said ViaChicago, another prominent MeChazen. "And that his mom still knits his dicks individual sweaters every year for Christmas..." Sources close to the Goob insist that the additional dick sweaters will be donated to local orphanages.
The sweaters will no longer be needed now that Trondant has bartered his way down to just one dick. At one point, the thirty-dicked Trondant allowed a limited penis removal to benefit an unnamed scientific study, and has now allowed five of the remaining six to go.
Dr. Trick Lickel, PhD., is excited by the news. Dr. Lickel is a prominent dick scientist at the Wang Institute of South Florida. "This donation could provide the information needed to generate new dicks," said an excited Dr. Lickel. "Men will no longer have to live with the stressful Freudian Castration complex."
What the loss will mean to Trondant personally remains to be seen. Such a significant penis loss has never been tested, and the effects are unknown. An unnamed source close to the Goob admits, "[He's accustomed to having] 30 dicks and he fucks the shit out of everything. Hard." Whether or not such behavior can continue post-surgery can only be left to speculation.
Dr. Lickel points out, "Going from thirty dicks to one is a traumatic experience for a man. The science world applauds Mr. Trondant for his generosity."
Of the surgeries, ViaChicago notes, "If someone had to have 29 dicks cut off, that's very, very brave." She continued, "I mean, one or two, you know, that's harsh. But, 29 or so? Yikes, man."
Trondant remains tight-lipped about his upcoming surgery and plans for the Trondo Bo Bondo Foundation. Attempts to reach the Goob for comment were unsuccessful.