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09 September 2013

Let me tell you about my friend, Jeffrey. [More:]I first met Jeffrey when I started hanging out at the railroad museum. Developmentally disabled, he was, on the surface, the worst embodiment of what railfans and railroaders call a 'foamer', an aspersion to someone who 'foams at the mouth' when exposed to a train. They couldn't have been more wrong.

Jeffrey rode to the museum every Sunday morning with his mother for our operating sessions. He'd willingly offer to help with any job with no complaints, just his usual lopsided grin. At first, he seemed unable to even tie his own shoes, but being treated like an adult, and being given tasks that closely matched his abilities helped his self-esteem and allowed him a measure of dignity and satisfaction in small jobs, well done.

As time progress, Jeffrey made friends among the staff, and was taken under many of our wings, helping him to learn more complicated jobs and operations. He eventually qualified as a conductor on the museum train, and I taught him some of the niceties of firing and maintaining a steam locomotive. We all learned that Jeffrey's word was gold- if he said something was done, it was, and was correct.

As time went on, Jeffrey and I moved apart- I back up to Chicago and eventually Indianapolis, and he to New York with his mother, who now required care for Alzheimer's. In New York, he got a job on the subway, and became his mother's sole support.

Jeffery was murdered this weekend in a senseless and violent attack.

I post this so that there might be a record of this gentle and kind man, who never had a harsh word for anyone, and that he might be known by a few more people.

It doesn't appear that there will be a funeral, so let this stand as a memorial.
Eeep! I forgot the (more inside) after the title! GRAR.
posted by pjern 09 September | 19:11
Ugh, so sorry, pjern. What a senseless tragedy.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 19:14
I'm sorry pjern. He was also well known at Forbidden Planet ( a comic bookstore near Union Square).
posted by brujita 09 September | 19:27
So very sorry, pjern. TPS said it right. Senseless and tragic.
posted by gaspode 09 September | 20:40
Wow. That was a fine memorial. You did good. Sorry for your loss. I would also speak from anger, but not now. Not here.
posted by Splunge 09 September | 21:10
What a wonderful soul he had. Thanks for sharing your memories.
posted by jayder 09 September | 21:59
I first saw this in the Daily Mail UK, my guilty pleasure for keeping up with celeb nonsense. I thought oh what a sad story. Hearing your personal account just magnifies the sadness. You were lucky to have gotten to know him so well. Thank you for sharing, he sounds like a sweet soul.
posted by meeshell 09 September | 22:33
I am sorry for this loss of yours, pjern.
posted by danf 09 September | 22:45
Thank you for taking part in his life, and for sharing it with others.
posted by Madamina 09 September | 23:31
Horrible.
posted by Obscure Reference 10 September | 08:31
Oh god. So terrible.
posted by lysdexic 10 September | 09:34
What a sad end to this man's life. Everyone is special, as unremarkable as they may seem to the outside world.
posted by Senyar 10 September | 10:47
Oh, no, pjern. The attacker sounds seriously mentally ill. I'm a believer but God seems mighty far away to me when I see something like this.

So, so sorry. Thinking of you, and Jeffrey's family, and hoping his sweet soul is at rest.
posted by bearwife 10 September | 18:00
Heartbreaking backstory.
posted by buzzman 11 September | 00:02
This is so terribly sad. Thanks for sharing, Phil.
posted by goshling 11 September | 04:09
I'm so happy he got the chance to learn, to be valued, to accomplish work and feel pride. The lovely parts of the story are very lovely, and the end is tragic. Thank you for memorializing him.
posted by theora55 11 September | 20:58
It occurred to me today || Freaks are people too.

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