Well, that linked Bazaar "vagina" facial article was disturbing. I'm grateful to not have to really deal with hair on my limbs, but the extent to which kids seem to think they should be hairless is more than somewhat disturbing.

Two words: body stubble.
*shudder*

And back to the salt mines for me.

I think having plastic surgery on and spending a lot of money on the appearance of your genitals is a sign that you have too much money. Also, if it's your vagina, it's not facial. blah blah But I don't like the way it looooks blah blah. Wanna be sexually awesome? Get in great shape, be strong and have a lot of flexibility and endurance, and be generous and adventurous and have a sense of humor and be a nice person. And then if you're a guy call me, 'kay?

Yes, we are going the hell in a handbasket.

Sometimes in the summer heat when my scrotum is extra loose my balls take a dip in the toilet water while I crap. The worst that happens is they might bump against a floating log, or soak in the shiss for a few seconds until I notice and pull them out of the mess. I guess a sack tightening might prevent this. But that's what toilet paper's for, right?

Sometimes in the summer heat when my scrotum is extra loose my balls take a dip in the toilet water while I crap.

If that happened in a UK toilet, your scrotum would be in very bad shape indeed - UK toilets have a much deeper bowl than American johns, with just a small pool of water in the pedestal.

Vulvicals? Ball smoothing?
Really, on one side, I'm with what makes people happy, but on the other--
Now if scrotums can't stretch wouldn't you damage your testes or at least cut down on your fertility? I thought they were suppose to be sensitive buggers.

This whole pubic area management-- I mean, if waxing causes all these issues, then I guess deal with these issues and I guess it's good there is a way to--? I mean, if it's a part of your job or pleasurable-- eh, I give up. But if you do porn, I say look into it, because I'm thinking the butt and pubic acne niche is rather small.

I've never heard of big time scrotum fans, though, except those who like inflating them with saline and the like. I'm assuming there must be scrotum fans somewhere, and maybe they appreciate a chilly weather package? Hmm? Do I finally have a question for Dan Savage?

I have to say one last thing, though-- the idea that some guy is like, "If Clooney is getting his balls done, I'm getting my balls done! That's it!" kills me. He's like Clark Gable killing the undershirt business.

Tiny ball sacks for everyone! Where's Oprah?

Scrotum Fans© for the dog days of summer!

Sometimes in the summer heat...

There are many times when I am glad that I am not male, and this is definitely one of those times.

I am sympathetic. I'm just glad I can't be empathetic.

Or maybe the opposite? I get the terms confused. Which is bad for a therapist, but whatever.

Hugh, I've heard guys complain about that, it sounds rather unpleasant - sometimes it's good not to be a guy.

I have heard this ball-ironing thing running around the internet and I agree it smacks a bit of lark's tongues and whatnot. Although I really shouldn't talk. Jokes about others' personal grooming habits aside, the one thing I've learned from many many years of putting more mileage on a bike than is probably sensible is that, err, mechanical friction is a thing. I expect I began with the whole nether deforestation schemes ages before many of my peers, and for different reasons (tbh I never even watched SATC) but lemme tell you, saddle sores are a bitch.

that said it'd be a cold day in hell before I'd ever bleach my fanny, so idk where that leaves us...

Do your balls hang low?
Can you swing 'em to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Like a Continental soldier?
Can you do the double shuffle,
When your balls hang low?

Sometimes in the summer heat when my scrotum is extra loose my balls take a dip in the toilet water while I crap.
If that happened in a UK toilet, your scrotum would be in very bad shape indeed
Yeah, I had to think about this for a minute, too. I forgot how shallow US toilets are. The thought of anyone's scrotum hanging down far enough to dip into the water in toilets here, well, it doesn't even bear thinking about.

I wonder what happens when a 'rejuvenated' scrotum gets cold? I thought they were saggy and wrinkly to allow that whole 'slightly below body temperature' thing by expanding in hot weather and contracting in the cold. I can imagine enough contraction to push a person's testicles back into where they descended from and that ain't a pretty thought either, I can assure you.