I'm so sorry, what an awful experience. Even if he was actually a nice guy and not a creepy stalker, he was insensitive and/or utterly clueless about how to approach you if he actually did just want to get to know you better in a non-threatening way.

I say trust your gut. This is also one of the key lessons of The Gift of Fear.

If he is still there and tries to approach you when you leave, tell him: " Back off!"

Don't feel sad. Feel smart. You are looking out for yourself. Like Senyar said, even if the guy was nice it's not acceptable, not respectful, to behave in that way toward people.

thanks everyone :) i appreciate it.
i'm feeling better now but it's still good to read your comments and know i'm not an asshole.

You have great instincts. If you see him again, tell him to get lost, or go get a buddy to tell him. And if he shows up after that, call the police.

Nice people don't follow you and demand personal information. They smile, introduce themselves, say they think you are attractive and do something normal like invite you to have coffee. He's treating you like a target, and there's nothing wrong with you for understanding that.

Bearwife has it.

I utterly hate that anyone has to feel unsafe walking into a convenience store or anywhere, doing regular and normal things.

The last time someone tried to chat me up, it was because I initiated a conversation by randomly commenting on the weather while waiting a very long time for the bus to come. After some niceties, the guy invited me out for dinner, I politely declined, he politely accepted my rejection, and then we didn't speak again until the bus came.

That's how it's supposed to go. Someone asking you out isn't supposed to make you feel afraid of them.

it wasn't so much that he talked to me that freaked me out.

it's that he followed me into the store and wandered til he found me. i guess that could be seen as incredibly romantic, but the first thing he did before anything was start asking for my number. he seemed nice enough, but i was just totally freaked out.

i think if he would said "you are really pretty and i'm new around, can we meet for coffee sometime?" that would have been totally different than "you are really pretty and i'm new around here, do you have a phone?" because that just says "let's screw" rather than "i want to get to know you".

oh the fine lines of interpersonal communication.

Anybody who starts off or goes on about how "pretty" I am always comes off like some idiot who wants to get laid to me, too, or just turns me off in general.

This one time, I was walking home through this deserted parking lot after dark, my usual way, and this guy was walking the same way a few yards away. I didn't think much of it but I was aware of it, I just didn't know how aware until he burst out and said something, like "I bet it was!" or something innocuous. He was on his phone the whole time but I didn't know it and it scared the crap out of me until I realized he was actually talking to someone. This may have been after someone followed me home in a car and honked at me, which nowhere outside some inexperienced, short term thinking, gang kid's adolescent fantasy is a good move.

I've walked through some of the sketchiest neighborhoods in the US in the dead of night without much conscious worry, but occasionally my own startle response takes me by surprise and I realize how unprepared/unarmored I am in some instance.

People really need to understand that they are not allowed to make people uncomfortable without a response. There are so many examples I could cite about how people want to excuse some awkward/socially disabled/etc. person's behavior towards me so they get to feel like the victim and never learn that maybe it's not okay to follow someone around and "take your shot" like this is a video game. And, unsurprisingly, I have ripped into people in detail and at length about how uncomfortable and creepy they have been, to many with examples, and they still think maybe I want to hang out some time if they keep asking until the end of time.

Sometimes, you want to figure out if it's brain damage or purposeful, and then, sometimes, you just want to file papers, break kneecaps, and be done with it.

I'm sorry that that happened to you. Having my cell phone out and talking to someone helps sometimes (even if I'm not talking to anyone) because it shows you're busy and you're connected to someone who's going to know if you're being harassed. You're doing everything right though.

it's only been kinda recently, like the last few months, that a big lesson from askme has really started materializing in my interactions with others....that just because i'm a girl does not mean i am required to be "nice" to everyone.

i know i read that on askme a lot in reply to many questions asked by others.
and i just recently sort of stopped contact with a girl who was a huge drama queen when i realized i didn't HAVE to be her friend. i don't have to be mean but i don't have to be all involved if i don't want to be. i can set the boundaries. and it's working.

just like with this guy. i don't HAVE to be nice and tell him my name and not act like he is freaking me the fuck out when he is just "trying to be nice" because it would be "mean" of me to be "rude" to said stranger.

so thank you blue and green, for giving me self assurance that i have boundaries and they should be respected and for that message finally manifesting.

not sure how well i conveyed any of that. i've had two beers and i'm still at work because our servers went down earlier and now i'm playing catch up. good times!