I don't want anybody calling me by name. And when I worked retail and wore a nametag, I didn't want anybody calling me by name. "Miss" or "Ma'am" is fine on either end.

I don't like it either and so have always given fake names when needed.

I've noticed this is common in NYC, but when it recently began in England people were shocked and offended that a stranger would ask for their name.

It doesn't squick me out -- maybe because I usually run into it when I'm getting take out from non-fast food places. My issue is not wanting to have to spell my first name, which 80% of the time the person will ask. It's just a hassle. So I've started giving them my middle name, which is a standard run of the mill name that no one cannot spell.

I wonder if there's a way to politely decline, like I do when sales people ask me for my phone number.

Huh. Most of the Starbucks I go to in NYC do this and have done for years. The only one that doesn't is much less busy. I never really thought about it before. I find it amusing to catalogue all the interesting ways my name gets spelled.

I've noticed it at some locations - like the airport, the tollway oases, and inside the Target or grocery store. It's new for me in the stand alone locations.

I give my last name and if asked again for my first say firmly "my last name is....". These people are not my friends and don't know me socially.

Just give 'em random MeFi usernames. Start with stavrosthewonderchicken. (Though you may want to stop before you get to fishfucker).

I could also trick the system by telling the Starbucks person that my name is Triple Venti Soy No Whip No Foam Pumpkin Spice Latte. No really, they named the drink after me. I swear. Then, they'll just call the drink name when it's ready and everything will be back to normal.

I like your idea too, ufez. It could suss out MeFites I wouldn't have otherwise known. Like a secret code.

Yes, I can't stand that either. If I must hand over a name, I use one of my sisters' names.

Or Sam, after one of my best friends. I figure he won't mind.

The last time I ran into this, I gave my name as "Elsa." It's easy to spell and pronounce, and I respond to it already. Also, my given name had a huge bump in popularity years after I was born, so there's often someone else in a crowd with the same name. I meet Elsas much more rarely.

My name is Inigo Montoya...

Brujita said it for me. I hate people I don't know using my first name.

I don't offer my last name because

A) it's similar to a common male first name, so they call out that instead and I don't twig that they mean me. Let's say my last name is "Williams" [it is not]; a barista expecting a first name will read it as "William." I am not smart enough to remember that I might be William.

and

B) people inevitably pronounce it wrong and I either fail to hear it or I hear it but get irrationally annoyed. No, I don't know why people can pronounce [William] but not [Williams]. It seems kinda goofy, right?

So we all hate it, but it seems more places are doing it. We should write our congresspeople or something.

And really, what is the business motivation for this?

I could care less, but then I am an open book.

reddit recently had a thing on this. The guy said he always looks at the employee's name tag, then when they ask for his name he gives theirs instead. "Wow, Elsa is my name too! I've never met a boy Elsa before," This way he could try to score free drinks and never had to give his name out.

I just had a baby freak out about this Sunday! I was in a fast food chain for some sandwiches. It wasn't crowded. It was dead. There weren't people waiting for orders. She asked my name and I just looked at her, She explained it was for the order and I said, "Ummmmm, Kim???" My name is not Kim.

I was worried about it because I could picture my crazy father saying "I'm not going to give you my name" and could picture my really truly crazy sister cursing and mumbling and demanding her money back over it.

I thought it was a sign of middle age onset mental illness, which every time I do something weird, I worry about. Thanks for the affirmations, bunnies!

Today in Target I was asked for my ID. Bewildered, I asked Whyyyy? For the Nicorette. Well, ok, I guess, but I'm clearly not under 18. Thank goodness they didn't ask my name first and then for my ID, because I wouldn't be Kim and then Homeland Security would take me.

It really does feel like an invasion of privacy. I didn't go in to meet people, I went in for sandwiches.

I'm not sure I understand the objections. My name's not a secret, why would I care if some random barista knows it?

Panera bread does this. I've often thought it was some marketing-driven thing to make the place feel homey. But there was never anything wrong with the number system - "Order #43!"

I find it irritating, but nowhere near as irritating as being asked for a phone number of email. That's just gross.

I don't totally understand my own objection to it, octothorpe. It just makes me feel all weird and squiggly inside.

To be clear if I wasn't above: I don't mind it. I don't care one way or another. but I agree about the phone number/email thing.

What's wrong with telling them 'Honey Boo Boo'?

I'm not sure I understand the objections. My name's not a secret, why would I care if some random barista knows it?

Well, as I mentioned above, there are plenty of people floating around with my actual first name. When I give my actual first name, there is usually some (brief) confusion over whose order it is. Sometimes the order/drink/whatever is packed up with just a name scribbled on it, not a description, which makes it harder to resolve the uncertainty. IDing the order by description or order number avoids that; so does giving my less-common screen name.

And others have noted that they don't like being addressed by first name by strangers when an order number or last name or other notation will do.

And in fact, my first name is a secret to strangers, or at least an unknown aspect. That's why they have to ask it instead of just knowing it. In chains, I sometimes feel that's an attempt to conjure up an easy but false sense of community, with all the tacit socialized expectation of comfort and friendly obligation on my part without the corporation making any actual effort at establishing community or friendliness. I resent that attempt. (Mostly, I deal with it by not patronizing those chains unless I'm in a chain-only situation like an airport.)

And once someone yells out your first name in public, anyone who's looking now knows it, too. (That's why my probably-harmless bus-stalker guy knows my name: because my longtime driver unthinkingly hollered it out in greeting.) It's a classic Lathario/scammer/predator move to note a stranger's name and use it on them, moving into their space as if you know them. It doesn't happen to me much these days, but when I was younger, it happened quite often. If a person I don't recognize approaches me with "Oh, hiiii, Elsa," instead of "Oh, hiiii, [FirstName]," I know they're running a scam of some sort.

I find it irritating, but nowhere near as irritating as being asked for a phone number of email.

My chirpy "No, thank you!" response to the required check-out request "Can I have your [phone number/zip code]" used to jar the check-out workers, though I was unfailingly polite about it. These days, they're never fazed by it, so maybe more people are refusing.

It's never bothered me to give out my first name, but emails and phone numbers they don't get.

But I like Ardiril's suggestion of "Honey Boo Boo"; maybe I'll use that. Or Amanda. ;)

"They call me 'Tater Salad'."

It never bothers me because I know these people don't give a second thought to me when the next order is up.

It's just like the wait list for tables at a busy restaurant. Just give something identifiable that you can remember, even if it's 123.

Sometimes to amuse myself I give them my original birth names. It's fun as it is not me and yet it is. Also, if I forgot I gave a false name I'll still respond automatically to the name as it really is my own even though only a very few people have ever known that.

At a certain big box store which I mostly use as a showroom but occasionally buy magazines I've had to start saying "not a member,not interested and you may NOT have my email!"

It's also your first name. That implies informality and intimacy, even in the US. If they asked my last name I might be more blase, like in a restaurant reservation situation. It seems so out of place to be called by your first name by strangers in public.

I don't care for it either. Honestly, I hate having to give ANY personal information in order to buy something. Bla bla bla, because it's against the law, bla bla bla, get off my lawn.

I always use Mr. Pickles. It's rarely a problem and some poor slob has to stand up in front of everyone and call it out. Fortunately, it has also brought a lot of laughter into the world and many, many smiles.

"Swarley"

I think it may have bothered me at first, but it's been years that it's been a fairly standard part of the routine at many places, and so I've gotten used to it. I also actually tend to use my first name for restaurant reservations or waiting lists, because it's common enough that people can spell and pronounce it, unlike my last name.

I don't see anything wrong with giving a fake name, though. As long as you're not paying by credit card, since they'll see your whole name that way, anyway.

"Turd Ferguson"

And, actually, because my first name is reasonably common, it bothers me less than giving my reasonably unique last name. My last name makes me immediately recognizable; my first name is more anonymous. (Especially now that I'm back in the Midwest, since my name exists in German, Scandinavian, Eastern European, and English traditions, which covers about 75% of the populations around here.)

Ha, funny timing. I came home from an appt all cranky bc on the way out, not in mind you, the security guy in the building wanted me to sign in. I was annoyed and didn't want to or see the point esp bc I was leaving and I felt very touchy about it and like it was too personal. Somehow it was way worse than if I had had to sign in when I got there in the first place.

I have a friend who has a "karaoke name" because her real (awesome) name is so unusual that everyone gets it wrong. So when she goes and does karaoke at a bar where you sing to the people instead of a booth, she uses her "stage name" and no one is the wiser. It's gotten to the point of where she's "known" and responds to her karaoke name as well, but I don't know if she gets squicked if people use it outside of a karaoke setting.

As for me, I don't mind if people know my first name, so if asked, I'll give it for dinner reservations and Starbucks. (Hence, my username here and on MeFi.) Gotta have that "brand" recognition somehow, right? But the Starbucks near my new office calls out the order more often than they call out the name when it's ready. And this is a really popular location (because it's near the county clerk's office), so wouldn't you be concerned if someone else ordered the same thing you did and they got your order first?

(Those other Trisha Lynns can go bite me. Especially the skinny Filipino model.)

"You can have my name as long as you give it back."

I tell them my name is "Sir."

Yeah I don't mind this. Coffee shops and lunch places where I live have been doing this for years. I find it inoffensive-bordering-on-nice, maybe since I'd rather have someone address me by my name than as "number 187."

I suppose this means I lose some introvert cred, though.

Also, there's no point telling them my first name, because no matter how carefully I enunciate, people invarably hear "Janice."

I am a constantly-five-o-clock-shadowed male of the species and usually give a woman's name ("Elizabeth" is a favorite) when asked. I have also given the names of cities I have been to and pets I have had - Tokyo, Goldfish, etc. But no one gets my actual real name anymore, for the precise reason that the intimacy is a calculated part of the advertising of the whole thing.

I especially like to tell the same barista different names over a few weeks to see if any actual human contact can be established - "hey, wait a minute, I've seen you a few times now, so what IS your real name?" - but no one seems to remember the Stubbly Eliza from three days ago...

I tell them my name is "Hugh Janus." But I tell them like a sir.

This doesn't bother me, but I can understand why having one's named yelled out in a room full of strangers might feel odd. Maybe it harkens back to grade school days and being called on in class... or something?

Oh, Eid. I just snarfed at Swarley. That's one of the best HIMYM episodes ever.

Around here, Starbucks people have been asking for names for just about ever, so I'm used to it. By now, it just feels like an order identifier.

Occasionally I'll use a pseudonym just to try out being called Natasha or Lucy or Michelle or Dorothy.

I know a Jeffrey who likes to call himself Batman.

Oh, and once as I was placing an order, I said: "For me, I'd like [...] and for the other person, I'd like [...]." The cups came back marked ME and OTHER PERSON.

I think there's a little more recognition by name than number. You know how if you're actually sitting at a fast food place that goes by order number you get to sit there for ten minutes while they holler "number 47! Helloooooooo!!!!! NUMBER 47!!!" and then finally the person gets off the phone, gets their head out of the paper or whatever and picks up their now cold drink/meal/whatever? Names have a tendency to shortcircuit that a little.

I know I always had more luck with names than any other identifier.

My local corner store/coffee place keeps the reward cards behind the counter for you if you want. They know my name (full name!) because we're locals. At Starbucks or the local equivalent I couldn't care less but I respond better to "GEEK! FLAT WHITE FOR GEEK!" than "ORDER 17!" because half the time I forget my order number, and a flat white is a common order.

I am henceforth Ms. Pickles (or Pickles) to the first name requesters. Thanks bunnies!

After discussing this exact thing with a friend, I've decided I will be giving a number. From now on I will be 648.

Or how about Seven.

The calculated intimacy is what makes me irritated when a sit-down-restaurant server brings back the credit card with the slip to sign, and addresses me or Mr. G by the first name on the card. I find it rather offensive. They didn't even *ask* the name, as in the above situations; they just took advantage of the fact that they have the card to use the name. And they're using it in an attempt to seem closer so that maybe they can get a bigger tip. Instead, it feels invasive.

I think asking for your name, requiring that you give it in order to complete a transaction, is still a milder form of personal invasion. Especially if you've already invested time and effort into the transaction; you've waited in line, you've given the cashier all your details, you're not likely at that point to just drop everything and leave without completing the transaction. At least when they ask, they're not just taking and making the assumption that it's okay to use it. And you can make something up.

You go, Bearwife!