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06 June 2010

Facebook is awful! Okay, so I wanted to access some information that was posted to facebook. So I signed up.[More:]

Now I'm deluged with friend requests and I see all this random sh!t people post on other people's stuff whom I don't even know!

I put almost everyone on Hide and will probably put a few more on Hide.

fb = TMI
Well, I mean, the whole point of Facebook is to stay in touch with your friends and what they're up to. So if you don't care about that, then FB probably isn't for you.
posted by amro 06 June | 22:36
It could be worse. You could have 0 friend requests.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 06 June | 22:37
That would be better.
posted by Doohickie 06 June | 22:50
Well, I mean, the whole point of Facebook is to stay in touch with your friends and what they're up to.

I wouldn't mind a Reader's Digest condensed version, but cripes, some people put what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and how big the resulting turd was. Keeping in touch with someone is finding out they they moved or got a new job, not that they picked their nose.

The amount of information is just.... too much. It's overwhelming.

I signed up so I could get some specific information. People just post announcements to fb now, then mention it on a blog or forum. But to see the announcement, you have to get on fb. So I figured I would sign up and see what it was like.

I guess you're right: fb isn't for me.
posted by Doohickie 06 June | 22:55
Oh, and... GET OFF MY LAWN.

*walks back up sidewalk, enters house, slams door*
posted by Doohickie 06 June | 22:56
I've found Facebook to be tolerable as long as I:

- Set the privacy settings on nuclear
- Use AdBlock
- Block every single stupid damn game, quiz, poll, or any other stupid application they come up with.
- Hide anyone under 20. It's cute that they friend me (mostly kids from church) but I can't deal with ten postings a day of teen angst.
- Hide any Libertarians/Teabaggers. If you want to get into an argument about which of Ronald Reagan's speeches was the most awesomest, I don't want to know about it.
posted by octothorpe 06 June | 23:12
I do most of what octothorpe does. It makes it a far better experience.

The worst instance of TMI was when a pregnant FB friend posted that she had lost her mucus plug. Blech.
posted by amro 06 June | 23:16
Did she find it?
posted by arse_hat 06 June | 23:21
I instantly fell in love with FB when one of my MeFi friends left a MeFi-level snark on one of my family member's posts. Veteran MeFites have such a way with words. You guys are welcome to take potshots at any of my family or high school friends.
posted by Ardiril 06 June | 23:48
I use facebook entirely for the message system, like MeFi mail. That, and I joined a group in Morioka so I can socialize with some of the other foreigners here. That's about it. Most of my former co-workers are on twitter, or I have their emails.

I do dump my tumblr into facebook, so sorry for being part of the problem.
posted by gc 07 June | 03:51
I hate facebook. No, wait, I loathe facebook. Adland has a facebook account (and fanpage, and app which was the only reason I did that anyway) and every time I go to see if I can do something I get hellaconfused and back out slowly. What are all those messages? I click wrong links and end up on peoples walls. Can't find anything. See that dorks keep tagging adland as a cartoon in various silly images they've put together. I back out slowly, yell something about lawns.
posted by dabitch 07 June | 04:26
Another facebook hater here. I keep it for only one reason: my nephew's wife puts up pictures of their kids.
posted by JanetLand 07 June | 06:37
- Use AdBlock
- Block every single stupid damn game, quiz, poll, or any other stupid application they come up with.
- Hide anyone under 20. It's cute that they friend me (mostly kids from church) but I can't deal with ten postings a day of teen angst.
- Hide any Libertarians/Teabaggers. If you want to get into an argument about which of Ronald Reagan's speeches was the most awesomest, I don't want to know about it.

That's my plan, too. Makes it tolerable.
posted by dg 07 June | 06:46
Yeah, I do that too (blocking and hiding lots). But I don't really see the level of annoyance with the constant updates. Maybe it's your friends and not facebook per se, Doohickie? ;)
posted by gaspode 07 June | 07:27
Yep,I do what octo does too. I also hide people who are tedious, or who are high school acquaintances with whom I have nothing in common. I like being connected with them out of regional/historical solidarity, but I don't need to hear from them daily.

I am not a hater of FB, I'm a frustrated lover. I think it's been a real gift to many relationships. What frustrates me is the thoughtless way they implement the moneymaking schemes and the greedy way they handle data. However, the good still outweighs the bad for me.

some people put what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and how big the resulting turd was.

I hear this complaint a lot, but I don't find that level of detail is a problem in my news feed. I think it's an issue similar to Twitter...it's only as good as the people you follow. Some people are extremely dull, and you can hide them. But overall, I like the posts made by most of my connections.

Keeping in touch with someone is finding out they they moved or got a new job, not that they picked their nose.

I think it's a lot more than that. In the pre-FB past, there were friends I only heard from/about when they got married, moved, had a kid, etc. That was nice; it was good to get announcements of major changes. At the same time, it was clear that we were not part of one another's daily lives in a meaningful way. Our connection was tenuous and situational, based on something in the past.

With Facebook, I feel like I've been given back the gift of real-time, casual, friendly interaction with some of my favorite people. It seems to me that this is what real relationships are made of: not the major news, but the daily being there, for small things as well as big. The jokes and banter, the sharing of interesting little items in the media, the relaxed interchange of social talk.

I've moved a lot in my life, never having lived anywhere for more than 5 years at a time. For that reason, I have friends scattered to the four winds. In past generations they would have been solidly in the past. Today, I can retain and even strengthen those connections through a medium of interaction which, just like proximity in daily life, has a very low barrier to entry and makes chit chat - actually the cement of relationships - easy and very much worthwhile.
posted by Miko 07 June | 07:55
I explained Facebook to my mother, and I said: "some people write really silly, inane comments, like 'so-and-so is cutting her toenails.'" The next day, an acquaintance posted in her news, "[name] is cutting her toenails."

But generally, what Miko said. Future generations will never know the thrill of hearing from someone in the distant past after a long absence. (Or watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special only once a year, but that's a different story.)
posted by Melismata 07 June | 09:32
I also came in to say, generally, what Miko said and what octothorpe said. I also recently defriended a host of people I friended in the initial rush of "Gosh! There you are. Wow. it's been 20 years and you remember who I am! How cool!!" which helped cut down on people who say things that totally don't interest me. Not necessarily because they were the sandwich-chronicling types. It was more they were so busy talking about people I've never met, in a place I've never lived, in a career-field I am unconnected to. It was a complete lack of common experience--beyond that 20 years ago thing--that led me to hide or defriend most people I've hidden or defriended.

I learn so much about people and life and what's going on in the world (or what's going on that might be fun to do) from the ambient awareness that FB & twitter provide me.
posted by crush-onastick 07 June | 10:22
Another FB hater here. I just don't have time for that shit. People can find me with Google. Not to mention I think Zuckerburg is a gigantic sphincter.
posted by chewatadistance 07 June | 11:25
I'm a reluctant and fairly recent FB joiner, and also have everything set to ultimate privacy. Otherwise it'd be unspeakably unbearable, rather than just annoyingly tolerable (on a good day).
posted by Senyar 07 June | 12:13
... I think Zuckerburg is a gigantic sphincter.

I don't think that you're alone in that opinion. In fact he seems proud of it himself. I do like FB but every time I hear him talk I inch closer and closer to closing my account.
posted by octothorpe 07 June | 12:24
They just rejigged their 'top news' algorithm so a lot of people who were previously hidden are coming up.. and it's strange how little people change sometimes. Self involved fake-drama-prone chick? yup, still self-involved fake drama prone *hits hide*
posted by Firas 07 June | 13:02
I love being able to see what my niece and nephews are up to. Being able to stay in touch with family far and wide. I love it when my sister posts, because it's rare, and usually interesting.

The games, with their constant chatter about who is doing what on Mafia Gardens, are intolerable. ZuckerThing is an opportunistic douchebag. He could make gobs of money and make facebook a SAFE and useful social gathering place. But he wants to make obscene gobs by selling everybody's personal data. Can't be soon enough for me.

Here's the thing. Before Google, everybody wanted to use Internet search to manipulate people. Google made search fast, effective and labeled the paid content. Seems to be working out okay for them. Somebody will come along and blow facebook right out of the water.
posted by theora55 07 June | 15:56
My take on FB is that I was already on Friendster and wow, how boring was that, been there and done that and Christ, I already waste an obscene amount of time online already to the detriment, I think to actually connecting with myself or even in my life hear and now. Metafilter is pretty much enough for me and even that every day I think perhaps I should close up my account for a while.

The idea of knowing eveyone, I've ever known in my life, again, is amazingly suffocatingly oppressive. I'm pretty happy with a lot of my past staying in the past.

Anyhow, FB is definitely on the downside and I agree with Theora55 that something much less invasive and better put together is going to replace it in the near future, this ZuckerPerson probably is squeezing out every little bit of obscene profit from the thing before he sells it to some old media company (Hello Rupert Murdoch...), and it dies a long boring decline as a promotional device or whatnot...
posted by Skygazer 07 June | 17:20
Anyhow, FB is definitely on the downside

Based on what? Definitely not popularity. Facebook use is going through the roof.

I'm sure something will come along to take it down, but unless something drastically goes wrong it's going to take a very, very long time for that to happen.

posted by justgary 07 June | 17:31
I don't like facebook because it pretends to be a variety of things other than a tool for marketers. There are only a certain number of times I can call people suckers before they take me off their friend list.
posted by Hugh Janus 07 June | 18:14
An old friend of my parents and a relative found me in their search for my parents, which made me happy for a few moments.

Then a friend from Jr. High found me, and wanted me to become friends with his uninspiring band, and I was sad. And there was the time that a guy I knew in elementary school tried to add me as a friend, and I saw he was a real estate broker and was part of extravagant real estate sales people groups on FB, which made me even more sad, oddly. I can abide by trying to promote your band, but luxury real estate? Facebook seems like a poor choice of venues, and more like bragging than networking. And then there are the young parents who post about all the things they've said to their kids ... Perhaps if I was more social, that would be nice, and I still like the idea of cultivating forgotten friendships, but that takes time and caring.

And I do get hooked on dumb games. I quit one game, and I think I'm going to quit another, as I don't like spamming friends, and I don't really get any enjoyment out of it any more. On the whole, it's sounding like a net negative thing for me, which should cause me to re-evaluate things.
posted by filthy light thief 07 June | 19:11
From Eideteker's link:

I've noticed the same phenomenon with my dad. He's out of the loop with family news. When he asks me what's going on with the family, I have to practically copy and paste from Facebook. It's all there. Why won't he just look? My dad can do all kinds of things that seem impossible to me. He can rebuild a car engine. He can build an entire house singlehandedly. But he can't use Facebook.

That's because the writer spends too much time on Facebook. And I'm not being snarky, it's what I believe. People who read about the real world online (to the extent that Facebook is a primary source of news and communication) instead of living in the real world simply can't function in the real world.

At some point the author, in trying to make her point, begins building strawmen and the impact of her point is lost: If you send them an electronic photo, they want to print it out.

Just because your mum is like that, dear, doesn't mean it is a universal rule.

This statement made me laugh out loud: People between the ages of 20 and 60 are unique in human history. Like something out of the movie "Splice," we are hybrid, mutant creatures. We have the mental wiring of both Real World and Virtual World Peoples.

We're a transitional "generation," and the only ones in human history generally capable of fully enjoying Facebook and also functioning without Facebook.


Every generation thinks their special. People are people.

posted by Doohickie 07 June | 20:12
Oops. The author is a he. Whatev.
posted by Doohickie 07 June | 20:19
Yup, another FB loather here. It's been more responsible for lowering my opinions of people I formerly liked than even alcohol has. The people who run the company are just venal scum. Sadly it is now a rusted-on part of modern life, and it is necessary to have an account just to keep in touch with the many folks for whom it is their main form of communication.
posted by Rembrandt Q. Einstein 07 June | 20:51
People who read about the real world online (to the extent that Facebook is a primary source of news and communication) instead of living in the real world simply can't function in the real world.

I would agree with you about that, but I don't know too many of those people in the real world. I'm active online and active in real life too, and I've never really felt much of a split. Occasionally I get a "too much time inside on the computer" feeling, and then I get away from it for a while and things balance out OK. One major thing that has helped is locating our only computer/internet connection in the upstairs, in the office, in a separate 'away' space instead of where it used to be, the middle of our living room.

But as far as skills my dad has: my dad is like that. he can fix or build anything. But his skills did not fade out because of the internet. Neither me or my brother has learned the things he knows. It's just that he grew up in an analog, mechanical world, and learned things from his own dad about taking stuff apart and putting it together. That's not something he considered super important for us to learn, and not something we grew up with in our culture. So we didn't really learn it. I'm still handier than most women my age, because if my dad instilled nothing else, he instilled a sense that we could "figure it out," but I can't plumb a new house or replace faulty wiring. In our world, would mastering that skill have made a ton of sense for someone like me?
posted by Miko 07 June | 21:53
Yes. Yes, it would.

Now please... the lawn and all that.




...and I still don't get my AARP card for a couple years. Can you believe it?
posted by Doohickie 07 June | 22:20
simply can't function in the real world

Especially those of us who are disabled. As desktop computers migrate into smart phones, they blur the dividing line between online and real life, and often they can eliminate it. Having a (semi-) smart phone has enabled me to get out into the world far, far more than otherwise. Facebook has connected me with a number of Fresno locals of similar needs and interests whom I would not have found otherwise.

What I find particularly funny about the Facebook hate is that back in the early 90s, applications like Facebook were specifically what we were envisioning for the internet. Many of us felt then and still do that privacy is an illusory concept similar to our perception of color. My initial hesitation in getting a Facebook account was due to my not wanting to deal with the clash between my online communities and people from my past. However, watching my nephew drag the ghosts into the present has been quite amusing.
posted by Ardiril 07 June | 22:33
Never have, never will.
posted by trondant 08 June | 04:01
Yes. Yes, it would

Really? Much as I'd like to be an all-round jill-of-all-trades, it really doesn't make any sense for me to learn these skills instead of, say, getting my master's in my field. You know?
posted by Miko 08 June | 08:05
applications like Facebook were specifically what we were envisioning for the internet.

So true.
posted by Miko 08 June | 08:06
Facebook is a cesspool.
With Facebook, I feel like I've been given back the gift of real-time, casual, friendly interaction with some of my favorite people. It seems to me that this is what real relationships are made of: not the major news, but the daily being there, for small things as well as big. The jokes and banter, the sharing of interesting little items in the media, the relaxed interchange of social talk.


Miko - Thanks for putting into words what I can never explain.

Also, hi peeps!
posted by youngergirl44 08 June | 18:15
I like the sound of the word "turpitude." || Teenage Fanclub have a new album out

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