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24 March 2009

50 Reasons Why Return of the Jedi Sucked "How intensely were the Ewoks marketed? Consider this: "Ewok" is a household word, despite the fact that it's never once spoken in the film."
If that is true, it's really kind of mind-blowing.
I saw Star Wars the second week it was out, a couple weeks before everything went nutso. I thought it was kind of dumb. An advanced civilization fighting to maintain some feudalistic monarchy? Um, okaaaay.
posted by Ardiril 24 March | 16:57
Man, don't tell this guys about Phantom Menace. He'll go postal.
posted by dersins 24 March | 17:02
Ewoks are real.
posted by mullacc 24 March | 17:03
Yeah, I believe that's true (although I don't have the movie memorized or anything). I think the "Ewok" thing came from that infamous Christmas special.

The author's claim that Return of the Jedi is a worse movie than A New Hope would be highly contested by most Star Wars fans. I don't have any empirical data, just gut instinct.
posted by muddgirl 24 March | 17:23
The author's claim that Return of the Jedi is a worse movie than A New Hope would be highly contested by most Star Wars fans.

What? No it wouldn't. I'm, uh, pretty sure most Star Wars fans are pretty fond of A New Hope. Are you thinking of Phantom Menace?
posted by dersins 24 March | 17:29
In fact, I could do a point-by-point list of why this guys is wrong:

In circles of die-hard Star Wars fans, to say you hate the Ewoks is like saying you enjoy breathing air.

The Ewoks are pretty damned awesome. The kind of people who don't like the Ewoks also don't like a) puppies, b) rainbows, and c) hugs.

it's our theory that he was infected with the same mania that caused Spielberg to make Hook eight years later

WTF does this even mean? Hook is a great children's movie. It was a favorite of mine.

dersins: I'm not confused at all. I always thought the general ranking was 1) Empire Strikes Back, 2) Return of the Jedi, 3) A New Hope. Of course, cinemaphiles may disagree, but I'm talking about fans.
posted by muddgirl 24 March | 17:36
muddgirl, I can safely say that I can't think of a single time (until now) that I have heard someone say they prefer Jedi to Star Wars. That poll you linked to is pretty deeply unconvincing.
posted by dersins 24 March | 17:47
I get the feeling that too many of these fans are like Brandon in "Galaxy Quest", when Tim Allen tells him it's just a TV show: "Yeah, uh-huh, right."

Star Wars dorks are pissed that Lucas crumpled up their fantasy world and let reality leak in through the cracks.
posted by trinity8-director 24 March | 17:49
Seems to have been written before that Jar-Jar Binks movie was released, which might explain a lot.

Many people's favorite Star Wars movie, I think, is the one that they saw during the most impressionable part of their childhood.
posted by box 24 March | 17:50
I will also state (since you all are dying to know my opinion on the matter) that Lucas is a one-trick pony surrounded by nothing but sycophants.

If he had one person around him with the balls to tell him, "No, George, that's a stupid idea" we would all be waiting feverishly for more Star Wars movies instead of dreading the idea.

If he had the smarts to realize he's a mediocre director and worse writer but gutsy enough to turn the controls over to those who can do better (see: "Empire Strikes Back") the prequel movies wouldn't have sucked the air out of the theaters.

But he doesn't, and they did.
posted by trinity8-director 24 March | 17:58
I prefer Episode VI to Episode IV.

Also: love puppies, hate Ewoks.
posted by Joe Beese 24 March | 18:06
I prefer Episode VI to Episode IV.


You people are BLOWING MY MIND here.
posted by dersins 24 March | 18:19
I liked Galaxy Quest.
posted by Ardiril 24 March | 19:05
Star Wars movies ranked best-to-worst: 5, 4, 6, 3, 2, 1
posted by Ike_Arumba 24 March | 19:47
I recently read this book about film editing written by the editor for The Producers and all of Woody Allen's movies. The author's premise was that good editing requires an editor who can stand up to a director and a director who is humble enough to give up parts of the movie that he/she loves if they don't work in the movie as a whole. I think that Lucas had an editor for the first movie who would tell him no, (his wife, actually) and as the years went on, his editors became more sycophantic and and he became more and more attached to his ideas. After I read that book, I watched "The Phantom Edit" and while it's still not a great movie, it's pretty good, cut down to a leaner and less Jar-Jar-ish length.
posted by octothorpe 24 March | 20:22
I rank them 5, 4, 3, 6, 2, 1.
posted by Prospero 24 March | 21:34
If David Lynch had accepted Lucas' offer to direct Jedi, there might actually have been a Star Wars movie I liked.
posted by BoringPostcards 24 March | 21:46
heheh, Lost Jedi
posted by Ardiril 24 March | 22:22
I'm with dersins - there's no way in any galaxy that Jedi is better than New Hope. No way.

My ranking 4,5,3,6,2,1.
posted by deborah 24 March | 22:40
octothorpe, thank you for enlightening me. I had never heard of The Phantom Edit before, and now I'm going to try and track down a copy. It sounds promising!
posted by CitrusFreak12 25 March | 00:16
It seemed to me that every Star Wars movie to come out has just been slightly worse than its predecessor.

I think the love for "The Empire Strikes Back" comes from VHS and DVD era fans. They think it's great that there's no real ending, you just slot in the next movie; but it was a bit of a drag on the original release.
posted by TheophileEscargot 25 March | 01:26
OK, here is my thoughts on the ewoks.
They are cute adorable teddy bears.
Whose hobbies include killing, and enjoy a taste of human flesh.

That's FUCKING AWESOME.
I want a stable of them to unleash upon those who displease me. "oh, how cute, look at them... aaaarrrugggghhh, my god, the teeth!!"
They would have no problem getting close to the target!

what...? why's everyone looking at me like that?


Many people's favorite Star Wars movie, I think, is the one that they saw during the most impressionable part of their childhood.
Strong theory, box... I like Return. A lot. I was also born in 1979, which means I was four when I saw it (my dad took me. family lore says my mom chewed him out after since she was sure I annoyed everyone else at that age, and he insisted I was utterly silent from start to end, and didn't want to leave when it was over.). The other two I saw later on, either on tv or video.
posted by kellydamnit 25 March | 08:30
I was nine when ROTJ was released, which was probably the optimal age to come away from that movie thinking it was the hands-down best of the original trilogy (and quite possibly the greatest movie ever made). I kept a high opinion of it for many years afterward—too many, really. It wasn't until the re-release, when I paid my own money to see it in a theater, that I realized how weak of a picture it really was, especially in comparison to Empire Strikes Back, which was still fresh in my mind at the time.

I am now of the opinion that Empire is the only really good movie of the entire lot, though A New Hope (which we just called Star Wars back in the day) still has some good things going for it, such as Alec Guinness's performance, a classic story structure, several memorable set pieces, and an overall feeling of freshness and young energy that still manages to shine through all the stilted acting and clunky dialogue.
posted by Atom Eyes 25 March | 10:52
I think box is dead on - I saw A New Hope when I was 9 or 10. I had never seen anything like it and I obsessed about it for months, if not years.
posted by deborah 25 March | 12:36
5, 4, 6, la-la-la there were only three movies la-la-la.
posted by kirkaracha 25 March | 19:05
My first job out of college was creating Ewok merchandise for Lucasfilm.

I still have nightmares about their buggy iris-less eyes.
posted by jamaro 26 March | 00:53
Who's your favourite out-of-tune-singer? || NBC lags Univision in coveted 18-34 demographic

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