Meatbomb's 20 Minute Spaghetti Sauce
First time in print!→
650g lean ground meat
1 green pepper
1 yellow pepper
1 red pepper
Got any other funky peppers? Go for it.
1 large onion
1 can tomato puree
1/2 head of garlic
pepper - triple what seems reasonable to you, trust me
tonnes of basil
vegeta or similar
1. Fine chop everything that can be fine chopped.
2. Brown meat in frypan.
3. Just short of browning onions and garlic in big pot. Brown them, then 45 seconds less.
4. When onions are looking happy, add peppers. Add the mushrooms. You didn't have mushrooms? What's wrong with you, didn't you read this whole thing first? OK, OK, the mushrooms are not mission critical here, if you don't have them no biggie.
5. When all that shit is looking nice, and the meat is ready, dump the meat in. Add the tomato puree and lots of water, enough to 2/3 fill the pot.
6. Boil it for 3 minutes, then turn the heat nice and low. You want it merrily blurping in the pot, filling your home with the ambiance of a Bolognese guest house.
7. That takes 20 minutes, not including the prep, so don't tell me I am full of it. Yes, now the thing has to simmer and reduce, and this part should take 3 hours or so. Low heat is better, longer is better. But no worries, you can easily play Fallout 3 and do bong hits during this part of the procedure.
8. When you smell your sauce burning, do not worry. For fuck sakes, keep your wits about you, nobody ever solved a crisis in a state of panic! DO NOT STIR.
The stuff that isn't burnt will still be tasty and excellent. Pour it into another container, and scrape the burnt stuff from the bottom of the pot. You can feed this to your cat or a young child who doesn't know better.
9. Cook up your favourite pasta, ladle sauce on top, enjoy!
10. Let me guess - you never added the pepper, Vegeta, or basil right? Are you a moron? Next time, add that when you add all the other stuff, before you go to play Fallout 3.
11. Did you sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top? No? Do I have to tell you everything? Do you want me to fucking eat it for you too?
I promise, it is delicious. I am eating it right now.