I think two flower girls sounds adorable.

See, I never thought about that. One is a tomboy type, the other is a princess. Yin and yang. Perfect. (I was originally leaning towards the tomboy.)

{{{desjardins}}}

I know exactly what you mean. For example, I love my future MIL so much, and yet at the same time I'm poised all of the time for a fight with her.

Just remember that you CAN do everything your way (or mostly your way). MuddDude and I are doing lots of rather non-traditional things, and whenever someone questions us, we just smile and say, "Well, we're sort of non-traditional people, and it'll be fun!"

1. Flowers are cheap - use both girls
2. "I pronounce you man and wife" - 5 words, easy
3. List 3 or 4 things that are important to you - those are your vows. Decide what you want to do usually it consists of this:
a. procession
b. opening remarks
c. take your seats
c.5 readings (we used Sonnet 116)
d. vows
e. ring exchange
f. pronouncement
g. face sucking
h. presentation
i. recessional

Desjardins, you picked such a beautiful place for your wedding. My family vacationed there last summer and it was just beautiful. Here's a tip for ya - the concierge desk can provide babysitters so that the parents of the 4 year old girls can stay out late if they want. We used this service for our baby son and the young lady they sent was great - she was the daughter of the concierge and a college student nearby.

I hope you have a lot of fun planning the wedding instead of getting stressed over it. My wedding 2 years ago was smooth and easy and what I remember the most about it was the people who came to share the day with us, not the flowers or the details of the food or anything like that. I decided early on to eliminate the wedding party and right there, a whole lot of drama and planning and angst was avoided. The people who are special to me know that and were so happy not to have to wear matching dresses.

I agree with going with 2 flower girls - you never know when someone will get a sudden attack of shyness and be unable to perform her duties. And if all goes well, 2 little girls in pretty dresses are better than just 1!

In any case you chose an awesome location and I really hope the wedding is everything you want it to be. More importantly, I wish you and your fiance a wonderful happy healthy life together.

the officiant has almost no wedding experience (my uncle is a newly elected judge), so we have to tell him exactly what we want

Two of my friends were married by a third friend of mine, who was a recently minted JoP. He did great, except for this: when the bride walked in, everybody stood. He never asked them to be seated again, so the whole crowd stood through the entire ceremony.

I am still amazed that not a single person made a motion to sit down (including me). We just didn't know when and/or whether he was going to ask us to, so we erred on the side of caution until the couple marched back down the aisle. Talk about obedience to authority!

Make sure you put "PLEASE BE SEATED" in his script!

OMG, that story cracks me up, Miko. Heh!

And, congrats, desjardins! Your wedding site matches your username perfectly.

Kangaroo - a million years ago, my mother put the phone system in the hotel. I got to stay there for a week while she worked. I was watched by one of the college students you mentioned, who let me roam freely over the whole place. It was heaven; there are "secret" passageways from the 1800s that this nine-year-old girl "discovered."

Miko - that made me spit Coke.

BoringPostcards - Wow, that didn't even occur to me. Serendipitous!

That does look lovely, desjardins.

One thing that really helped up save a lot of money is we used our talented friends - one is a great DJ, another a born manager to make sure things are getting done, another an amazing cook, another an excellent designer, for the invites, etc.

desjerdins - You are not bridezilla. You will be fine. The only thing that really matters is that you are married at the end. These are the words i chant to myself fairly regularly (we're on the books for Sept 13). You should have seen me freaking out a couple weeks ago over the dress. I was *this* close to spending almost $2k on it from a custom dressmaker (which is awesome, if you can afford it, but we are already spending more than I'd like).

Then last week I found a $98 dress on the Nordstrom's website. Stress was instantly gone when I tried it on, which is how I knew it was the right choice.

The indiebride forums are pretty helpful, although for me they also contribute to a bit of obsession and stress at times.

I tend to deal with stress by wanting to have control, so it's hard for me to just let go of things that it isn't time to worry about yet - like invitations, or how our completely out-of-town families are going to navigate around Chicago, or whatever. I want to figure it all out *right now* and that's not possible. I created a spreadsheet with all the things we need to do and assigned a month to them, and that's helping a little bit - I'm only allowed to stress now about the things assigned to this month (photographer and dress).

Good luck, I find it simultaneously fun and anxiety-ridden!

The jardin looks lovely, desjardins! Good luck, mate.

Welcome to the pre-wedding stressed out club!

We're going with a casual outdoor event. Luckily, we also have an indoor venue in case of rain. Our officiant is also a friend of the family, and she's been doing weddings for years. She's wanting us to contribute a lot of input about the ceremony. We're just basically to the point of wanting it to be DONE ALREADY.

Hugs and best wishes!

I'm doing a preliminary guest list in Excel and I'm forgetting people's names... I hate to admit that I called my cousin's children #1, #2, and #3.

I got this email from the event manager at the hotel: "Please confirm. Would you like the ceremony and cocktail reception in the Gazebo Courtyard, and dinner & dance in in the Great Bays room?"

Wait, what? Having cocktails after the ceremony sounds good, but in the same space? Is this normal? I know we're not getting married in a church, but it feels like slugging down beers on the altar.

Totally, ime. And not beer, champagne usually. It's a quick toast, then you go off and do your photos while the guests drink champagne, then you come back, have another quick toast and you all go off to the reception.

We're doing the ceremony in room A, then going downstairs for cocktail hour in room B, then back up to A for dinner/dancing. But I'm pretty sure we're just doing the switcharoo so that they can set up the buffet in room A after the ceremony is done.

And there will be a staffed bar in the room A before/during the ceremony, so people can be throwing them back while we're saying our vows! I think it's pretty cool, but we're also going for a casual vibe. :)

Also, I found a great book for Bridal Bargains, named something like that, shaped like one of those Zagat Resturant books. I'll look for it in a minute, but I remember a floral wholesale place where you could do a rose wedding (with enough roses for the bride, six bridesmaids, a slew of boutenniers, and 12 table centerpieces for around $300.00. Of course that was nearly six years ago, but the rest of the book had great tips for great weddings on a budget.

This is it, I think.