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21 December 2007

I'm having a wedding ring made for my wife. Here's the story: we got married 5 years ago, and where dirt poor, so I couldn't afford to get her a real ring. She's been wearing a nice (but nothing fancy) silver ring with shiny non-diamond I'd got her before we were married, and always dropping hints about how she doesn't have a 'real' ring. [More:]
I've given her jewelery over the years, but nothing with diamonds, etc.
So, now we're not rolling in it but not hurting either, and I went over to a small independent jewelery-maker-person, and ordered a ring!
It's a 3mm wide steel ring with a gap where an also 3mm square-cut diamond diamond goes (between the sides of the gap, so you can see the whole diamond from the sides). It's not super blingy, but she wouldn't feel comfortable with anything too showy, I think. It should turn out nice, and non-typical.
Our anniversary is on the 28th, and we're planning to go out to the theater and then to dinner. My mother-in-law is coming over to take care of our 3 month year old son.
I never really proposed to her either (it was more like "hey, maybe we should get married", "yeah, maybe we should"), so I might, maybe, do a little 'proposal' scene at the restaurant,and then whip out the ring.
We actually have 2 anniversary dates, as we married first in Manhattan City Hall, in July, just the two of us and a witness, then five months later had a big Hermetic* ceremony + party with family and friends back in Chile.
It's OK, though, we celebrate our anniversary 2 times a year, and since one's in July and the other in December it works out.
I'm worked up about this, and can't wait for the 28th!
* Hermetic: a friend of her mom's is a big mystical/tarot/etc guy here in Chile, he writes most of the newspapers' horoscopes under different names, and a really interesting character. We made up a 'hermetic' ceremony using some actual texts ('as above, so below') which included my Mom lighting the ceremonial fire and my dad ringing the gong. Fun, fun times, and our more conservative family are still a little bit confused by the whole thing.
posted by signal 21 December | 10:34
Oh how lovely. Hope everything goes well for you on the big day!
posted by gomichild 21 December | 10:37
awesome, awesome, awesome. What a thoughtful and romantic gift.

Hope she says yes. ;)
posted by Miko 21 December | 10:37
Hmm, hadn't thought of that.
If she says 'no', the ride home might be a bit awkward, no?
posted by signal 21 December | 10:39
Very nice and romantic, signal!
posted by chewatadistance 21 December | 10:42
That's so sweet!!! She'll go nuts! (well, I know I would, and most of the gals I know would, so I have to assume it's genderwide).

Sounds like a really stunning ring, too. I've seen that setting before, it's a great mix of classic and modern minimalism. Steel is a great pick, too. (as in, this thread is useless without pictures, and I can't wait to see them when it's done!)
posted by kellydamnit 21 December | 11:10
signal, what a wonderful, personal way to mark your 5-year anniversary.

For our engagement, mr. init surprised me with a ring he'd designed himself and asked a jeweler friend to make. I cherish it.
posted by initapplette 21 December | 11:10
Good for you!

Wedding rings can have such stories. It's nice when they're a sequel!

I'll share my ring story. Down later, where others can skip it if wanted.
posted by mightshould 21 December | 11:27
between the sides of the gap, so you can see the whole diamond from the sides

That's called a tension setting.

So I'm guessing it's similar to either this or this, depending on which way the stone is aligned, although as it's a 3mm it'll be a little more subtle and understated than these blinging things.

Awww, I'm a sucker for romance.

posted by essexjan 21 December | 11:29
My band has 5 canardly diamonds* in a small, art-deco 1920’s style band. It’s a beautiful band because it has meaning. It was his Grandmother’s. The band was worn quite thin since it was old; but it was still perfect for me. We didn’t do the engagement ring, so on our day, the ring went on my finger and stayed there until it broke into pieces when I was washing dishes about 4 years later. I found most of the pieces, but one of the diamonds went missing. So sad. We could not afford to get it repaired.

We replaced it with a simple gold band which was much more practical since I worked with my hands and was not the type to want a “real” ring. The plain band was happily worn for another 20 years.

Still, the ring pieces haunted me every time I saw them in their little plastic bag. While we still didn’t have a bunch of money, I located a little shop that did their own work, and had it repaired as a surprise. The repair cost more than the ring was worth in dollars, but they knew that wasn’t the concern and treated it with as much care as if I’d purchased the queen’s jewels. They kindly put it in a little shiny pink heart-shaped ring box. We went out to eat one evening just after our anniversary (he couldn’t go on our day because of chemo treatment). It was wonderful. We had a nice corner booth all to ourselves. After the meal, I was savoring a coffee and we were talking, so I whipped out the box and handed it to him. He opened it. “You got it repaired!” Waiting a minute….he’s still looking at it, then me…. “So, are you willing to put it on my finger again?” (duh, of course he was.) I’m still wearing both bands today and smile each time I look at them.

It’s neat when bands have a great story. Hope yours have a wonderful one too.

*canardly diamond: so small you can hardly see them.
posted by mightshould 21 December | 11:29
mightshould, that is the sweetest story ever. (I'm getting all teary at work!)
posted by kellydamnit 21 December | 11:38
our 3 month year old son
which is it? month or year?
posted by plinth 21 December | 11:42
Awww. Sweet stories.
posted by occhiblu 21 December | 12:04
essexjan: yeah, it's the first kind of setting, with the diamond parallel to the ring.
plinth: whoops: 3 months.
mightshould: aw, now you've got me all misty eyed.
kellydammit: I know about the pictures, but I don't have the ring yet! Will update when possible.
posted by signal 21 December | 12:13
Awww how lovely! These stories are sweet, you big romantic lugs.
posted by goo 21 December | 12:24
How romantic!
posted by rhapsodie 21 December | 13:41
That's wonderful, signal. I'm sure she'll go all melty. In a good way.

Mightshould--what a lovely story. 'Canardly diamonds' will have me chuckling all day.
posted by elizard 21 December | 14:07
OKOKOK, I've told it before, but here's my ring story again:

On our second date (which lasted all weekend, va-va-va-voom!) I bought my to-be-wife a ring from a vending machine, you know, a 50-cent thing that was sure to turn her finger green, just as a cute little gesture. She wore it constantly after that, on her right ring finger. When she forgot it at my place once, I took it to a jeweller, and had it re-cast in silver ($85), and gave it to her for our three-month anniversary.

It was a pretty big deal for me, really. My whole life, I've done stuff like that for women who thought it was cute, but kinda silly, I mean, you spent so much for such a silly thing? Even the folks at the jewellers warned me that the new ring would, of course, look exactly like the old ring, which was nothing special, and didn't I want to add a diamond? The fact that the future MrsMoonPie got tears in her eyes when I gave it to her assured me that, well, she might very well be the future MrsMoonPie.

Another thing that I always think of when I tell the story was that I was kinda worried she'd think it was meant as an engagement ring, and that I was proposing after only three months. I mean, what if she said something like yes, she accepted my proposal? What was amazing to me then, and now, is that, actually, that would've been OK.

On our one-year anniversary, we recreated our first date, going to the same restuarant, playing on the swings in the same park. It was there that I said, sort of casually, "How would you feel about wearing that ring on your other hand?"
posted by mrmoonpie 21 December | 15:16
Oh, you can see the ring in this picture, below her 4-banded wedding ring.
posted by mrmoonpie 21 December | 15:19
Wow, mrmoonpie, that's great. And, I bet signal will make his lovely wife cry.
posted by mightshould 21 December | 15:35
I need a tissue. *sniffles*
posted by deborah 21 December | 22:37
signal, you're my hero. Considering I am guvaxvat bs cebcbfvat but pna'g nssbeq n evat, this is very inspiring. I'm going to see ubj guvatf tb guvf jrrx jvgu ure cneragf naq how my new job shapes up. Who knows what 2008 will bring?

Please everyone keep this tippest-top of secret...
posted by Eideteker 22 December | 08:57
Eideteker: good on ya! Go for it. Please let us know how it goes.
posted by signal 23 December | 19:52
An awesome collection of Christmas music, some perhaps you've never heard. || Portraits of the Korengal.

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