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12 December 2007

What is your goal in life? [More:]I've had way too much caffeine tonight, and I've been writing a lot and thinking about random things like chick flicks. Good ones make people laugh and cry, and so do good books. And I realized that one way of framing my goal in life is that I want to make people laugh and cry as much as possible.

So, here is the one limitation on responses: You can't say you want to finish a course or become an accountant. It must be something more philosophical, something that gets to the meat of your desires rather than just the surface things like making money and learning a new recipe and getting those Xmas cards out.
I want my children to recognize that I broke the cycle of abuse (emotional and physical) that I suffered as a child, and that I did my best to give them a "good" childhood (as much as that's possible)... And, beyond that, I want to continue my own journey to be a happy and healthy person, wherever that may lead me.
posted by amyms 12 December | 02:13
"What is your goal in life?"

For more than forty years, to spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, enemies, strangers and fellow travelers, my answer has been:

To lead an interesting life.

That has meant:
* I value experiences over possessions.
* I trade money for time.
* I don't care much about consistency.
* I don't care about home and hearth.
* I don't imagine mourners over my corpse.
* Reward had better outweigh risk.
* Politics aren't morals.
* Morals aren't a religion.
* If someone else is buying, I order whisky, not beer. And if I'm buying, nothing but whisky is poured.
posted by paulsc 12 December | 02:23
My goal in life is to live this day as best I can and then, hopefully, do the same tomorrow.
posted by arse_hat 12 December | 02:24
My goal in life is to find out exactly what it is that I want and move towards it at all times.
posted by sperose 12 December | 02:33
To look back from my deathbed and think to myself "I did my best, I lived live as fully as I could and I left the world a better place, even if nobody noticed". If I end up dying a fast, violent end (odds are better than average of that, I suppose), I guess I'll have to think fast.
posted by dg 12 December | 02:41
My Dad has this poem in the entryway of his house:

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann


posted by sambosambo 12 December | 02:44
Whenever I've tried to think of a personal mission statement, I can't think of much to improve upon from that poem. So there you are.
posted by sambosambo 12 December | 02:51
Strangeways.

Oh, *goal* not gaol.
posted by asok 12 December | 05:07
sambosambo - I carry a copy of that in my wallet. :D

amyms, that is highly admirable.

paulsc, if I ever find myself in your neck of the woods, I'll buy you a whiskey.

Mine is, life is short, but it's wide, so no regrets allowed. IOW, have fun, do no harm.
posted by chewatadistance 12 December | 08:10
I want to be comfortable. As I get older, my definition of this gets crankier, but basically it means: I want to have enough money to buy most of the small things I want and to be able to save for big things like a trip to Hawaii or something, I don't want to have to be friends with people I don't want to be friends with, I don't want to have to join things or do activities I don't like, I want to have my own house so I can do whatever I want to it and have as many pets as I want, I want to live in a small place where there aren't so many freakin' cars and people, and I want a job that doesn't have a lot of stress and where I get left alone as much as possible. Only in the last am I not quite there yet -- the job itself is excellent for my purposes, but the setup involves sitting in a room with many other people, most of them excitable drama freaks. This is probably why I'm tempted to add "living by myself" to my definition of comfortable, but really in a different job situation I don't think that would be a necessity. I guess I'm the opposite of paulsc -- I care very much about home and hearth (only I got no fireplace).
posted by JanetLand 12 December | 08:18
I just want to make one really good album. One that, you know, people actually hear.

I want to do right by my wife and kids.

I want to stop working in an office.
posted by chuckdarwin 12 December | 08:52
To get to the end.
posted by eekacat 12 December | 09:00
Goals? When I was young I wanted to be desired by women, respected by men, pulling in money and loaded with accolades from the world for...something. Now I just want to make it to the weekend. And that's not so bad. As a wise man said:

Remember all the movies, Terry
We'd go see
Trying to learn how to walk like
the heroes we thought we had to be...
posted by jonmc 12 December | 09:16
To be honourable.
posted by By the Grace of God 12 December | 09:21
My goal has always been to practice loving acts at all times. I don't always succeed, but I am mindful of my ongoing, lifelong goal to do so. I blame it on a Jesuit upbringing, mixed with a healthy dose of Buddhism in college.
posted by msali 12 December | 09:43
To be honest. To be unafraid. To love unreservedly. To be kind. To help the best I can. And to see, to really see, through the veil, through the fog. I guess I'm striving for clarity on a lot of levels.

On a more mundane note, I realized a couple of years ago that I had achieved a lifelong goal of being the eccentric woman with the long red hair living in the ivy covered cottage with all the freaky art around it. You know, the one who pops up in a lot of children's books and is sort of chaotic/good although occasionally just chaotic? She gives you cryptic instructions? Yeah, her. That was kind of cool, since I managed that goal without even noticing. I would like to get back to a cottage like that, only I don't want to live there alone anymore and I could use a cat or two. Possibly also a raven and a llama and a black goat with yellow eyes. And I would love to travel more but I'm not sure it's really a life goal so much as a wish.
posted by mygothlaundry 12 December | 09:57
To not fuck things up.
posted by BoringPostcards 12 December | 10:03
To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women.
posted by ROU Xenophobe 12 December | 10:23
I have a lot of goalS that can be put into conrete terms - goals about family, music, travel, experience, impact on others, helping to make the world a more interesting and meaningful place - but never articulated a single overarching goal, though it's clear that all my smaller concrete goals are aligned with a larger, unspoken one that gathers up them all: to make good use of the time and the gifts I've been given.

I'm in life for the same reason Thoreau went on his little camping trip: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

I have definitely lived my life, and have lots more to do, lord willing and the creek don't rise.
posted by Miko 12 December | 10:28
The more books I have read, and the more time I spent sleeping in beds other than my own, the closer I will have been to fulfilling my life goals.

Oh, and I want to get a kid out into the world without fucking it up too much.
posted by gaspode 12 December | 10:50
Hmm. Everyone seems to want to be, like, a good person. Which is awesome. But I have other goals besides wanting to make people laugh and cry as much as I can, and also being a good person, which is kind of what every person strives for, I think, except for xenophobe.

I want to be an annoyance. Just because it's fun.
I want to laugh and cry as much as I can.
I want to do something that people will remember even after I'm gone.

Also, I want to be the crazy old lady on the bus or in the library or the park, the one who says ridiculous things and appears senile but is actually totally lucid and just screwing with people. Because how awesome would that be?

mgl: Remember what fake-Lester Bangs said to fake-Cameron Crowe: "Be honest and unmerciful."
posted by brina 12 December | 10:50
My goal used to be the same as BP, but I already have fucked things up, and have had to restate my goal.
posted by eekacat 12 December | 10:51
I want to be utterly forgotten within five years after my death.
posted by DevilsAdvocate 12 December | 10:55
To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women.

Dang it, you beat me to it! Shame on you, you rapid offensive unit.
posted by King of Prontopia 12 December | 11:08
To fuck things up.
posted by Hellbient 12 December | 11:25
I want to get a kid out into the world without fucking it up too much.

That's pretty much it. I've got a list of things I'd like to accomplish, things to see and do and complete, but more than anything I want to guide my sweet tiny humans in the right direction.
posted by jrossi4r 12 December | 11:27
no wait...also:
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Hellbient 12 December | 11:42
I've never been much of a goal-seeker as far as overarching life missions go. Sure I have goals - to win a specific bike race or to buy the right ingredients to make XYZ dinner tomorrow night, but Goals? Erm. Yeah. Granted, this has made me a lifetime drifter and lacksadaisical path-of-least-resistance seeker. I guess this means I feel vaguely uncomfortable about these big philosophical questions. Is life really about Goals, or is it just about waking up tomorrow morning without regrets? I have no clue, which kind of scares me if I let myself worry about the fact that I've spent 40 years now just putting one foot ahead of another. I have excellent friends and a rich social life though, which to me seems more than adequate.

Mainly I'm just trying my best to take each day as it comes. Big goals haven't been important to me ever since I realised back in my late teens / early 20s that a) I have zero plans to ever procreate and b) I really don't feel comfortable with tons of socio-cultural baggage. Maybe my life's goal really is, by default, "Leave No Trace".
posted by lonefrontranger 12 December | 12:07
I try to leave things better than I found them.
posted by Capn 12 December | 12:16
Have a bunch of adventures, a bunch of integrity and a bunch of snuggling. Also make a difference.

This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body…
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur 12 December | 13:48
Have a bunch of adventures, a bunch of integrity and a bunch of snuggling.

Totally read that as 'smuggling.'
posted by box 12 December | 13:54
To live bravely.

I want to model to my children:
      critical thinking skills,
      the will to use them,
      the courage to act on their principles and conclusions, and
      the willingness to go down in defense of same.

I want nothing less than to change and transform the world. All the rest is commentary.
posted by lysdexic 12 December | 14:22
Now that one of my pictures has been sidebarred, it's pretty much all downhill from here. I guess the best I can hope for is to get through the rest of life without hurting anyone (who doesn't truly deserve it).

Also, no offense intended toward sambosambo, but it's impossible for me to even see a reference to Desiderata without immediately thinking of this*.

*Note: that file is mis-labelled. It's a recording of this.
posted by bmarkey 12 December | 14:28
My goal is to support my wife's education and career to ensure she becomes successful enough that I can resign from my job as an engineer and hand out carts at Wal-Mart.



If I want to.
posted by Doohickie 12 December | 21:59
Social Security finally recognized that I am disabled. Yay. || Our somewhat seasonal sidebar art

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