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07 December 2007

Office Party Are you attending one this year, or did you manage to wriggle out of it? →[More:] I decided to tell them that I have a date in the studio and can't make it. The fact that I do have a date in the studio is a moot point; I would not have gone in any event. Who wants to hang with a surly mob of drunken co-workers?

Not I. A couple of years ago, some wrinkled old crone tried to grope me (it was a fucked up moment), one of the managers tried to defraud the hotel (he kept ordering rounds on a non-existent room number), and the director got into a fistfight with someone.

I ended up walking home at 2:00 AM (in the freezing cold) because there were no cabs.

Fuck Christmas parties.
post by: chuckdarwin at: 04:42 | 43 comments
We have one scheduled on the 14th. I am inviting people to my party instead. Wonder which one people will be talking about on the 15th.
posted by B(oYo)BIES 07 December | 04:56
We have ours on the 17th. I don't think it will get too wild.

At the company christmas party during the web 1.0 bubble, holy shit, that was a party. The VP of something was partying with us lowly peons and got a bit out control. We all took a cab home but she was so drunk we had to drag her out of the cab and drag/carry her to her front door. We propped her up against the door, rang the bell and ran back to the cab. I wonder what was going through her husband's mind when he found his drunk disheveled wife passed out on their front porch. On the monday after the party I went in the office early. On the top of the toilet somebody "forgot" a fat line of coke and I guess the cleaners missed it too.

2 months later we were all laid off.
posted by chillmost 07 December | 05:21
Done one already today - quiet (ish) lunch at the Beach House.
One next Friday night - "official" department party at bar/restaurant, which will be much louder, longer and drunker (last year I caught the 1.30 train home).
One on the Friday night before Christmas - street party for all six houses in our street.
One on Christmas eve - as mentioned here.
posted by dg 07 December | 05:27
We have to pay to go to our Christmas party. One year I went. Never again.
posted by grouse 07 December | 06:04
I haven’t been to one for years: I’m perfectly comfortable just giving a straight ‘no’ when invited, so no ‘wriggling out of it’ is required. While I’ve have been to a few Xmas office parties that were fun, there have been more that were not. And the thing about my present colleagues: while they’re all undoubtedly awesome, they’re just not the exact kind of awesome I enjoy spending time with while not getting paid for it.
posted by misteraitch 07 December | 06:09
I'm self-employed so I tag along to my SO's. The 'official' do is dismal (think CEO of engineering firm thanking the 'wives' who support the engineers in so many ways - last time I was sitting next to a female engineer who had smoke coming out of her ears at that point), but only costs £10 for a full Xmas dinner so we're going. The 'unofficial' one is a smaller group of colleagues he likes, a more expensive dinner but should be a lot of fun. Both parties are near major bus routes to our house :).
posted by altolinguistic 07 December | 06:10
I work at a two-man company with my brother, so our 'Christmas party' will revolve mainly around the fact that I've been reading my tax booklets lately and apparently we can spend up to £150 per head on ourselves and our 'partners' for a big night out, and have it essentially tax-free. 'Tis the season, and all.
posted by chrismear 07 December | 06:17
On the top of the toilet somebody "forgot" a fat line of coke and I guess the cleaners missed it too.

Yeah, we had a little of that action as well.
posted by chuckdarwin 07 December | 06:25
We have to pay to go to our Christmas party. One year I went. Never again.

I wouldn't even go if I were being paid to be there.
posted by chuckdarwin 07 December | 06:26
I've been reading my tax booklets lately and apparently we can spend up to £150 per head on ourselves and our 'partners' for a big night out, and have it essentially tax-free.

Sweet. Where are you going to go?
posted by chuckdarwin 07 December | 06:27
Not only am I going to the staff Christmas party, but I've been roped into playing the role of MC/Santa (as in, actually wearing a Santa costume) for the student parties - one of which is at a nightclub (LOLEuropeans).

All my classes are canceled the week of the festivities, though, which is nice.
posted by mdonley 07 December | 07:45
We have a team lunch next Wednesday. As usual at this time of year, much of the menu features alcohol, so I am left with the (no) choice of soup and roast turkey. All the desserts contain alcohol, so I'll have to ask them if I can have plain ice cream.

There's also a 'winter ball' which is being held at some venue in east London to which all the staff can go (if they buy a ticket - £25 for staff and £125 for non-staff). I've never been to the big party, because it's mostly our call centre and support staff getting pissed at the company's expense.

The decision to have a ball this year has caused some dissent around the organisation, because they're making 1/3 of the staff redundant in the New Year. So to spend over £50,000 on a party at a time when they're trying to cut costs seems a bit off to me and many others.

For those of us who decide not to go to the ball (and 50% of the staff don't go), we don't get anything at all. It'd be nice to get, say, a £10 cinema voucher or something like that, so we can have a night out on the company, but the only thing they offer is a party that half of us don't want to go to anyway.

Bah humbug!
posted by essexjan 07 December | 07:50
We have a two-hour potluck lunch with a Yankee Swap, which can sometimes be entertaining.
posted by nonane 07 December | 07:55
EJ, do you work for Dsome huge outsourcing company? Because everything you just said reminds me of my old job in the states...
posted by chuckdarwin 07 December | 07:57
My company is a startup so we don't have money to spend on such things (we employees would raise hell if they wasted money that way) but I did go to a lavish party that my wife's office had. Lots of good food and an open bar all night for 125 people and a Jazz band playing. As far as I could tell, no one got drunk. She works with a bunch of nerdy engineers, who are almost all married with kids so it was a pretty affair. It was all over by 10PM.
posted by octothorpe 07 December | 07:59
I'm a student, and end-of-term celebrations yend toward the lackluster: sad stale crackers and hunks of cheese, bake-sale leftovers, and ginger ale sitting on a table in the department office, with students standing around crabbing about the work load, and a few professors gazing off into the distance trying not to think about their stacks of grading.

But every December, The Fella's boss closes shop for an evening to throw a lavish party in a local restaurant for his crew and their dates, and it's a great time! It's a funny and friendly crowd, and we all see each other socially year-round, so when the whole bunch gets together for a party, it's a party.

That was Wednesday night, and midway through the evening I noticed that my cheeks hurt from laughing so much.
posted by Elsa 07 December | 08:46
Our holiday party is Sunday. I'm going with Mrs. Plinth. I like my colleagues, so I'm quite happy to go. My brass quintet is playing during the cocktail hour segment, so bonus!
posted by plinth 07 December | 08:48
I have never been to our departmental party (most definitely NOT a Christmas party, for we are a Jewish institution) because despite working at my med school for 3 years, I hardly know anyone in my department. (Our lab is on the other side of campus from the department.) Apparently it rocks though.

Our lab (10 or so of us) will go out for lunch next Friday. I may have a glass of wine.
posted by gaspode 07 December | 08:53
they want to take us to either bowling or lasertron.
Hi, I'm a CRIPPLE. I can't hold a bowling ball without pain, and I sure as fuck can't play running around in the dark lasertron.

However, that's just my team. My department has a big banquet in January which I will most likely go to, as it is downtown. It's because they announce the annual award winners there for the big trip to someplace warm. (seriously, like 200 people every year go on a big trip. last year was Jamaca, this year is Cabo San Lucas).
I haven't been in sales long enough to win.
posted by kellydamnit 07 December | 08:56
No, I see the people I work with for 40+ hours a week, and have no desire to see them outside the workplace, to tell the truth. I'm by far the youngest person in the office (and I'm no spring chicken - I have a kid in college) so you can imagine the fun and frivolity of hanging out with people in their 60s and 70s all day, every day. The excitment is killer, and a holiday party would just put me right over the edge.

I actually love my job, but I see these people more than enough, so I always say no thanks to their parties and open houses and holiday dinners and all that stuff.
posted by iconomy 07 December | 09:18
My company sent me an invitation at home--it came in an 8-inch poster tube and had fancy glitter and shit on it. It's a company-wide thing at the Fairmont (I think). Everything's paid for but the hotel room or tax-ride home. I'm sure it'll be debauchery. But I'm going to try to get out of it. The Company has about 500 or so employees, but I only know the 9 on my investment team.

But I did hear a great story about a past holiday party. Apparently they used to be held at the CEO's house, who has a heated swimming pool. One of the assistant's husbands asked the CEO if he could borrow a pair of swim trunks and then proceeded to take a swim by himself. I think that's awesome.
posted by mullacc 07 December | 09:41
Nope. I don't have a steady office right now.

One day of work today. One day of work on Monday at another firm. You get the picture.

In any event, free booze or not, I'm not wasting any of my free time socializing with people who've treated me so poorly over the last five or six years.
posted by jason's_planet 07 December | 10:33
I've missed one, lunch yesterday, cos I'm still off sick. I still got an award (a bottle of bubbly) and my secret santa present is waiting for me for Monday. Next week I have one Wednesday night (dinner at a nice restaurant, no debauchery expected) and one Friday night (piss-up at the pub with debauchery pretty much guaranteed, except I will probably take it easy due to aforementioned very recent sickness). The big Council party is also on Friday night, but I went two years ago and it was pretty lame and I haven't been enticed back.

My boyfriend's team do is today (from lunch on) - last year I had to talk him through the walk to the tube station on the phone because he was so pissed he couldn't work out his GPS or where he was or how to hail a cab. No doubt I have the same to look forward to this year...
posted by goo 07 December | 10:36
Went to a project "Team Building Event", which was really a Christmas party - we left right after dinner, when they turned the lights down and started playing dance music.

Our division has a christmas luncheon I'm going to, because the food is free and there will be door prizes. No spiked punch, though.
posted by muddgirl 07 December | 10:39
I'm going to mine (it's the 14th). I really enjoy hanging out with my coworkers. We all get good and drunk but no one ever does anything too out of control. It's just a fun time.

For the first time, this year we each get to bring one guest, which is cool. Although I've met the husbands/boyfriends/wives/girlfriends of some of the people that I hang out with outside of work, there are some - like my boss' husband - whom I've never met! And I've been there 3 1/2 years! I think it will be a really good time, and I'm totally looking forward to it.

My boss is also taking my department out to Pops for Champagne for about an hour before the holiday party starts, to celebrate my engagement. I LOVE champagne and other bubbly wines. Whee!

posted by misskaz 07 December | 11:01
I'm going, there are enough decent people I work with that it's not a chore to have a free dinner and drinks with them.
posted by Capn 07 December | 11:17
Two years ago, our holiday party was at the end of January. Last year, it was closer to Valentine's day. They haven't said when this year's party will be, but I think if I stick around a while I'll eventually see it happen in December.
posted by sambosambo 07 December | 11:28
No party for us- we're a little small for that (there's only 5 of us!) But we are having dinner together next Tuesday, since the person who works in Florida will be in town.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 07 December | 11:30
No party here - too small. Last year there was a grim potluck affair sponsored by the building (we're in a sort of arts/museum mall thing) that hardly anyone attended. This year it looks like they're not even going to do that which is fine and dandy with me. I missed, thank the gods, the Chamber of Commerce open house yesterday because I have been in bed with the world's worst cold for two miserable days, but next week I've been invited to our local alternative paper's holiday party and that's going to be a total blast. I suspect they invited me because they want me to write for them for free and I want money, but so what? They're a fun bunch.
posted by mygothlaundry 07 December | 11:50
Yeah, I always go. It's tonight, in fact. Hotel conference room, catered meal, cash bar, door prizes, like that. It should be okay, except for the part where the administration harangues us about get-out-the-vote efforts related to our upcoming millage election.

Also, what Capn said.
posted by box 07 December | 12:18
No one has said anything about a party yet this year. Last year it was pretty much a potluck lunch, which was actually pretty fun.
posted by drezdn 07 December | 12:43
I'm ditching mine for a mefi meetup. My coworkers are a bunch of normies and stinking rich. Seeing people who spend my annual salary on clothing miss their faces with their scotches is not my idea of yuletide cheer.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur 07 December | 12:47
My boss does a really nice thing that avoids all the usual nonsense and pitfalls. He picks a week before Christmas and hosts a holiday brunch at his house every day that week for a different set of staffers. You RSVP to him on the day you want to attend, and show up any time between 8:30 and 10:30, open-house style. When you arrive, there's a buffet breakfast spread, and you just take a plate and find somewhere to sit and converse. There's mimosas, but it's basically impossible to over-imbibe the way it's set up.

I really prefer this to the type of party my old employer threw: renting the ballroom, having little brown finger foods catered, cash bar, fancy clothes. That ate up a perfectly good night. People always drank too much, perhaps because it was the only way to make hanging out with so many co-workers tolerable. And there were dumb contests and giveaways that put people into awkward situations that you'd really rather not think about when you see them again on Monday. One you have seen your boss do a slightly inebriated Macarena in a foam fake-fruit hat, it's just hard to look at him the same way again.
posted by Miko 07 December | 12:48
I never go. I don't own an evening dress and have no desire to buy one. But most people from the tech department don't go anyway.
posted by matildaben 07 December | 12:54
At my old job, my boss used to take me to the Christmas buffet lunch at the yacht club. The food was incredible and we always had a great time; I miss doing that. This year a friend has invited me to go to his--a swish dinner at a local French restaurant with the guys who work for the local contractor. I've worked with most of them on various sites, so I think it'll be fun, plus I've been dying to try this restaurant. Also, another friend and I are hoping to drum up some painting contracts with the boss, so it won't hurt to socialize with him.
posted by elizard 07 December | 13:01
Looks like bowling won for my office holiday event.
Good... now I can sit on my butt and drink beer on the boss's dime.
posted by kellydamnit 07 December | 13:20
My husband's office party is tomorrow night and I'll be going with him. This year it's at a restaurant that my daughter and son-in-law used to work at-they do a lot of parties and such there. The food should be good. And since it is basically a bunch of realtors-a fairly freewheeling group even when not drunk-I should be entertained quite well. Husband is one of the bosses so everyone will be polite to me, at least. And I love his boss. She's a hoot. We get along well, and THEY get along great too.

posted by bunnyfire 07 December | 13:52
The mister's department lunch was a couple days ago. He said lots of fun was had. Their division party is scheduled for after he starts his holiday and he's glad he's missing it.

When I was working for WSL it was strongly frowned upon if you didn't show up for the company party. I hate company politics.
posted by deborah 07 December | 14:03
My firm doesn't have a holiday party, but the company that owns the building does; it's happening tonight. I went last year and there was good food and good booze, but unless my co-worker goes, I'm skipping it. I don't need to watch my boss schmooze the room. Ugh.

P.S. Second interview this afternoon at a firm I'd really like to work at, wish me luck!
posted by Specklet 07 December | 14:33
Our department is having a potluck at work. There will be no alcohol, it's not a real party. Just a bit of socializing and eating. I'm going. I like the people I work with.
posted by LoriFLA 07 December | 14:57
Our Christmas party was on Wednesday. Apparently, I had a really, really good time. I was hoping somebody would do something scandalous--one department has a lot of young, attractive women who are the usual culprits.

Alas, this year, I fear it was me. I truly, truly intended to have three glasses of wine, some lovely canapes, and enjoy being dressed up while I watched everyone else get silly.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The road home was apparently, doused with a wee bit of my sickup. My husband is talking to me again, which is good news.

The car seat has been removed and is at the auto cleaner's, which is not.

Apparently, I had a really good time.

Come the next morning (it's always held on a weeknight, to try and keep the festivities from becoming debaucheries) I was hurting awfully bad. I got myself into the office at 9:03 a.m. and I wanted to die. I ended up throwing up again in the washroom at the office, and did not accomplish much in the way of work that day. But I showed up.

Be not like me.

1) Do not attend on an empty stomach.
2) Drink a glass of non-alcoholic liquid for every alcoholic drink.
3) Just because you have six drink tickets, you do not have to use them.
4) Once you have used them all, do not keep sending your husband to the cash bar.
5) Eat more at the party. Even if you have to tackle the waitress.
6) If you are sick on the way home, try to get all the way out of the car before vomiting.

I am much chastened. I thought I was smarter than that.
posted by Savannah 08 December | 12:37
Story from my workplace Christmas party: This year, it was in a hotel conference center. And there's a sound system. Here's how it was supposed to work: soft Christmas music would play in the background. Then, when somebody got up to make a speech or give an award or whatever, the microphone would sense their speech and the music would stop. Here's how it actually worked: every time somebody paused, whether for emphasis or to catch their breath or just because they're mostly Southerners, the music would kick back in. Our director's poignant speech about the Unsung Hero award was repeatedly interrupted by some kind of, like, Yuletide-themed crunk song.

Also: total, like, crappy-wedding-reception spread at the bar. The only non-light beer they had was Corona. There wasn't any tonic water, for crying out loud. And if you're not going to have tonic, and you're not going to have vermouth, why even bother to stock gin?
posted by box 08 December | 13:28
Bad behavior has always been encouraged at my holiday parties, and I've always stepped up to the plate. But this year I played nice and had a few drinks and pleasent conversation and then called it a night. Our holiday party is always tied into bi-annual meetings (to justify the the expense of flying everyone in) and this is the first year I made it through the meetings the next day without wishing somebody would put me out of my misery. The photos aren't as fun this year, but it was nice waking up the next morning without the hangover and wondering how I spent over a hundred bucks when the booze and food was comped.
posted by Slack-a-gogo 08 December | 13:50
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