*Needless 'rebranding'
*Misuse of "its" and "it's"
*Beans in chili
*The crappiness of school lunch
*Aggressive pushing for 'suggested' donations
*Kids in the play in the park using headset mikes instead of projecting their voices
*Hummer limos

* Power tools used before 9 am
* Barking dogs
* Sanctimonious vegans
* Dates as a sugar substitute
* the word "nourish"

Thank you for your time.

I am against:
* loud car audio systems with no mid-range
* umbrellas
* the use of the word "lifestyle"
* laugh tracks
* Using the dictionary while playing Scrabble to see if the letters you have make up a good word. God, that annoys me. I mean, checking your spelling is alright, but just looking through to find some J-word you didn't previously know existed just so you can get the damned 8 points on that double letter tile ... that just ... defeats the purpose of playing Scrabble. I mean, at that point why not just play "Let's Look up Random Words in the Dictionary." Which is also fun.
* in general, chocolate mixed with fruit
* retail uniforms

* hangovers that happen after 2 beers, now I am into my 30s
* "utilize" instead of "use"
* slow cardplay
* mustard
* loud eaters

*life coaches
*gurus
*people that clank their poker chips
*the death penalty
*logos
*mayonnaise
*boob jobs
*wine fridges
*monograms
*pom-pom fringe
*preppy pants embroidered with little lobsters or sailboats
*Pottery Barn

- the word "utilize" (on preview, great minds think alike, G)
- express kidnaping
- the New York Yankees and the Dallas Cowboys
- cops breaking laws
- lists
- foul language around kids or older strangers
- pigeonholing
- imposing an official language on the USA

*Chuggers
*So-called personal stereos that everyone else can hear
*Essex women driving giant SUVs, badly. Or, indeed, at all.
*Coconut
*People who don't clear up their dog's poo
*Companies trying to make me switch to their service, whether it be phone, gas, electricity, water, ISP. Cheaper is not always better. I am an adult. I can make my own choices based on factors such as service, convenience, product requirements and not just price.
*Mrs Shaeffer, who despite my voicemail saying that I am NOT the foot clinic, leaves a detailed message at least once a month about the shaving of her bunions or her ingrowing toenails which I then have to relay to the foot clinic because she never leaves a number to call back and tell her she's got the wrong number.
*Jamie Fucking Oliver. He needs a good kicking.

*Pineapple on pizza.
*Small, yappy dogs.
*People who speak to their children like they're stupid just because they're young.
*Horn players who endlessly blow through their spit valve.
*Puffy eyes in the morning.
*Mosquito bites that keep you awake at night. (Pips, can I get an amen!)
*Bosses who want to wring every little bit of work and effort they can from you and expect you to be loyal and hardworking as hell, but they won't hire you on as an employee and you're still a contractor with no fucking health insurance.
*The fact that some people don't get health care because they can't afford it.

*The people who designed the Trader Joe's hummus container so that when it's not perfectly level, oil seeps out the lid and spreads to the entire refrigerator shelf
*Visas
*Small closets with no shelving or hang bars
*Doorknobs instead of door latches

* Ads that say 'See! You just proved bench/bus-stop/billboard advertising works!' No, for me to prove that it works, I'd have to actually buy something.

* sugar as a substitute for dates
* lawns
* people who are reminded by every post on mf about a boring story about themselves, which of course they have to share with us because they are fascinating people and we should know about all of the intriguing aspects of their lives
* my across the street neighbor's obsession with the Philadelphia Eagles, which includes one of those farging blow-up things and two flags
* the very loud and obnoxious "congratulations, you have just been selected to recieve a new apple iphone" web ads
* "Baby On Board" bumper stickers
* people who sniff continuously, all day, every day
* fake tans
* that zip lock type of plastic packaging, which I can never open, and so every time I end up ripping a hole in the middle of the bag in a mad frenzy

*generalizing through lists

j/k

*the widespread use of ugly men in porn
*raisins
*chain restaurants that assume a veggieburger is the only feasible vegetarian option
*vegetarians/vegans who impose their ethics on their companion animals
*meetings with no agenda
*working on Fridays

* People that grin inanely at you when they want something from you. Just tell me what you want, you idiot. It's not cute or endearing.
* Illiteracy. You're 15: you should be able to spell common names by now, you dullard
* Suburban 4×4 vehicles. There is *no* fucking excuse
* Vandalism
* White British (upper-) middle class kids dressing and acting like they're from the Bronx.
* Junk food
* Chavs
* TV channels synchronising the times of their advert breaks so you can't avoid being sold to
* Political correctness
* Any newspaper that still fucking has Princess Diana on the first few pages on a regular occurance
* Sycophants
* Hangovers that last almost an entire day
* Salmon
* Parents who get their kid's ears pierced when they're still toddlers (or younger)
* Mustard
* The work lunch trolley having almost every sandwich or roll containing mayo. Fucking Sodexho.
* Tesco
* Internet Explorer
* Excessively loud car exhausts
* Excessively loud car stereos
* Motorbike riders who insist on trying to cover the 30 yards between two sets of traffic lights in the quickest, loudest manner possible
* Rupert Murdoch
* Exploitative television and the cretins that go on it. Why in Christ's name will airing your filthy, diseased laundry on (inter)national TV help matters? And you! Why are you watching that programme? Why is it necessary to use someone else's misery for your entertainment
* The price of housing in the UK
* The excessive use of packaging on almost everything we buy
* People that use mobile phones whilst driving: there's a reason it's against the law, you know
* Ambulance chasing TV ads
* The price of cinema tickets
* The continuing loss of indie record shops as illegal downloading destroys the the industry
* Indentikit high streets
* Having to pay other parts of the same company you work for because they're a separate entity and need to "make money", even though that money is just moving numbers around various internal spreadsheets
* People who think the AAC file format is an Apple proprietary one and get all pissy and Anti-Apple when their crappy Windows Media Player-based deeley won't play them.
* The attitude of the Catholic church and the misery, death and destruction it's brought the world
* Gossip magazines: how about I hang around outside your office and take photos of all the journalists looking tired, thin, spotty, podgy, wearing unfashionable clothes, with bad hair, hungover.

That'll do for the time being

WTF? I LOVE mustard. More for me then!

These lists remind me of the time I had to organize, categorize and list every single item in the storeroom of the giant box store I used to work at....

Hah.

*People who ride their bikes on the sidewalk
*People who put their garbage out three days early and then don't pick the trash that the animals spread around after they eventually find and open the bag.
*The number of traffic lights in this city. Seriously, why are we not using more 4-way stops and roundabouts? Because you're dumb and I hate you Kingston, that's why.
*When kids are mouthy and rude to other people when around their parents and the parents don't do anything to chastise their children, you guys are what's wrong with society.
*Giant SUVs with one person in them. If you've given birth to a soccer team then by all means, have a big car, but if it's you, your tiny dog and one child then what are you thinking?
*Hummers, H2's, H3's and Hummer limos. Unless you're the military it's just not cool.
*Canadian weather

*The Current State of the Farm Industry/Corn (that's for you, Capn)
*Capri pants
*Radio call in shows
*Toys that "poop" jelly beans or gum
*Microsoft Word
*Jim Carey movies
*Particle board furniture
*Renaissance Festivals

*Shorts
*Pencils
*Any sort of beverage in a plastic bag
*Cellphone talking in bathrooms
*Looking at one's cell phone in a theatre (I can seeeeee you, with your illuminated face)

* TV news programmes showing stories that are barely disguised extended trails for more of the channel's output
* The seeming insistence of local TV news anchors to be all jokey. Your jokes aren't funny and your chummy banter is atrocious. Just tell me the news.
* The fact that cheese has so many calories
* Anything that has been mechanically separated
* Tom Cruise
* Corporate firewalls
* Those shoes with the wheels in them

*The Oregonian. It's one of the worst newspapers I've ever seen, and people in Portland are smart, politically active, and interesting. WTF. The cover story today is about an erratic driver who was caught because folks called the cops on their magical cell phones. (They were all, ooooh look, the day was saved by technology!) As if there's NOTHING ELSE happening in any other part of the world.

*Right at the moment, just about everything.

The Ramones - I'm Against It

* Newspapers who, in the main body of the paper rail against all manner of sexual depravity (depraved or not), but then cram the back pages with adverts for sex phone lines
* Jonathan Ross
* Citizen journalism
* People that insist on coming into work when they're obviously ill

Previously

Whatever it is, I'm against it.
And I've been saying since I first commenced it:
I'm against it.

- Death
- Taxes

- Ben Stiller
- People who use all three names
- Ugly Footwear (Clogs, Birks, Gators, Tiva Sandals)
- Screamo
- Crashing Bores
- Temperatures over 85
- Tofu as a main dish
- Grime

- People who are willfully ignorant about/intolerant of cultural differences.
- Roommates who do not buy toilet paper.
- Fruit pieces in dinner salads (tomatoes excepted).
- Twitchy people (see also).
- Foot blisters.
- People running around outside screaming at 3am on weeknights.
- Tripe.
- Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla, Carson Daly, Jay Leno.
- Americans who say we should take over Canada.
- Canadians who feel superior to Americans.
- Any meal where bread or cake is intentionally made soggy.
- Loud concerts.
- Nascar.
- Most movies about sports or poker.
- Adults who have not read a book since high school, or who have but it's Harry Potter.
- Dr. Phil
- Payday loan places that prey off of poor people.
- Teenagers/hipsters who think being homophobic and racist is cool and rebellious.

* disposable lighters
* humidity
* traffic congestion
* blue laws
* tight clothes
* margarine
* dress codes
* the religious right
* peaches
* celeb culture
* sequels and remakes
* cell phones
* acid reflux
* people who want you to think they're a bad-ass
* Augusta, GA
* concerts that don't start until midnight or later
* ATM fees
* "SUPPORT THE TROOPS" magnetic ribbons
* eczema
* junk mail
* McMansions
* hype
* working on the weekend

Being put at the shittiest table (by the toilet and or with people constantly walking past it) in a virtually empty restaurant.
Raspberry coulis dumped on a dessert when there's no mention of it on the menu.
Being given a spoon for a dessert that is not ice cream or custard.
Being given an iced tea spoon for something served in a shallow plate.
Midwestern pseudo-friendliness.
The spoiled prick upstairs being reelected to the condo board when he' s moving out next month and can't bother to show up at owner's meetings.
Reading a post which I think is meant to needle me but would not be in my best interests to respond.
Having the unctuousness in the building ramped up
When my right to be left alone isn't respected---ej, "chugger" should cross the pond (though I've found in London the Tube staff will do something about it when it's reported, unlike NY where all one gets is a shrug)
Being taken advantage of because I look like a naive cow.
Rap music
People who should fucking hang up and drive.
NYC summers

Video Game Consoles
Pebble-dashing
Cricket
Coffee
Chocolate
Diamonds
Football
Cheap guitars
Disposable Diapers
Plastic grocery bags
Boy Bands
Oil Companies
Cigarette Companies
DuPont
DeBeers
Balloons
Flame Wars
Gangsta Rap
People who refer to themselves as members of a team that doesn't actually exist ("we're [read: my favourite sports team is] going to kick your [read: your favourite sports team's] ass!")
McDonald's
Reality TV
Horror Spoof Comedies [such as Scream]
Horror films, in general
Eddie Murphy
Bad Porn
Commercial Music
The Homophobic, Racist, Anti-Human Dipshits who are ostensibly in charge of the world's (current) most powerful country