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04 April 2007
Girls, we need to talk→[More:] i think have had the pms for i don't know how long now and i am at a loss: should i just start drinking for the muscle relaxant/blood thinning properties and chuck sobriety as i don't really need to be today?
i figure it's either that or find some poor victim to have lots and lots of vigorous sex with and i don't really like the midday pickings.
Alternatives?
it's either that or find some poor victim to have lots and lots of vigorous sex with and i don't really like the midday pickings. heehee
I second ibuprofen and like valerian root for a warm, inflated sense of near-normalcy.
Would readily volunteer for lots and lots of vigorous poor-victimhood if the geography were less challenging. (Just trying to help out another MeCha here. Ahem.)
But then, if it's any consolation, there's always "manual override" -- and I bet a hot bath and some ginger would help a lot too.
Dong Quai helps but i'm out and did i mention it's snowing?
i think i may have to go with early cocktails and some feigned attempt at exercise that involves stretching, flexing and wiggling, although i advise the admirably endowed to stay a running leap's distance away.
i think there should be a special pms suite weekend the Night Bus will escort you to, complete with jacuzzi, fully stocked complementary bar, 24 hour room service, king sized bed.
We will be taking address for your booty call drop offs starting at five pm and all our driver will have emergency complementary chocolate treats on hand with a wide selection of herbal remedies for grooming and TCB Wednesdays.
Bath Bombs and Bath Melts from Lush available
and free emory/buffing boards with every order.
Tonight's dessert feature is the Chocolate Ch-ch-ch-cherry Bomb, a dark explosion filled with cherries blacker than your soul.
Adult hot chocolates for a farewell toast to winter come with the biscuit assortment and dark chocolate dipped fruits to welcome in spring.
And it's Noodles Noodles Noodles Night: from soba to stews, any kind of starchy noodle goodness is available, from your fifty cent fresh ramen bowl with all the fixings to the steaming king size udon kettle, fit for a family of four or you in your heat protected bloated blankety goodness. The pot acts as a natural heating pad against the quilt of your choice.
Pho to go, or pho fo yuh.
Little bit of booze. Hot bath. Flexing and wiggling.
Thanks for planning my evening, Speck.
As for ethylene, I don't know what to say... I don't usually get bad PMS symptoms. When I'm not feeling well for any reason: Hot shower/bath, comfy clothes or just a bath robe, snuggling in a blanket, drinking some cocoa or tea, comfort foods and a movie or two.
These anti-PMS suggestions are all really great post-speedmarch suggestions in disguise, too. Now I know why there are bathrobes that weigh a couple of kilos. And plooshy slippers. And hot soup, and red wine, and ginger. ("What about Mary Ann?" "Stop that!")
All of the above, plus Evening Primrose Oil. Seriously--that stuff kicks the crap out of my pms and cramps. One or two capsules, 3x/day at the first signs of pms. Don't let that put you off the chocolate and hot baths and comfort food, though.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
