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02 April 2007

Return of the Return of Ten Things You Don't Know About me Because I wasn’t here for the first round and we have a whole bunch of new people who weren't either. And if you were here for the first one, feel free to jump in anyway, with Ten More Things You Don’t Know About Me.
[More:]
1. I have a deep love for MetaFilter. I look at the whining and complaining threads, people jumping up and down about minutiae, and I think to myself “What the fuck is wrong with you people? Don’t you understand how wonderful this place is?”

2. I declared myself an atheist at the age of six, after encountering the word while flipping through a dictionary. As soon as I read that definition, I knew it applied to me.

3. I don’t read as many books as I ought to read and this makes me feel guilty.

4. I have often wished I could split myself into five men. The first would read. The second would write. The third would go on adventures, like diving or rock climbing or exploring Greenland. The fourth would carouse and flirt and fuck. The fifth would hold down a job to pay the bills. Every year on my birthday, we’d rotate the roles.

5. I grew up in a steel town. Every night, the mill would turn the northern sky a bright, pulsing orange. As a child, I would get out of bed and go to the window to watch. I would listen to the faint roar of the machinery, the clanging and crashing and imagine that Vulcan or some other such creature was at work, forging weapons for the gods.

6. One evening, when I was sixteen, I got a handjob on the steps of my community high school.

7. I have been robbed at gunpoint. The gunman was about 13 years old and took $17 from me. This robbery took place in Flatbush in the spring of the year 2000.

8. I am a closeted egotist. My surface personality is quite shy, sweet and self-effacing. But if you scratch the surface . . .

9. I do an inspired impression of Kermit THE Frog.

10. Said impression inspired the following exchange:

LADY FRIEND: Jason, don’t do that impression in front of a woman before you sleep with her.

JASON: It’s that goofy?

LADY FRIEND: Yes, it is.

11. My worst (successful) come-on Evar: “Hey, __________. C’mere.”

12. My dad’s side of the family has been in America for more than 350 years.

13. Sometimes I wish I had come of age in a more turbulent time, like the Depression or World War Two. This contemporary world bores me. It’s self-satisfied, parochial, uninspired.

14. I’m not as “nice” as I used to be. But I’m a much better person than I used to be, too.

15. I have oddly bifurcated tastes in reading. In the nonfiction realm, I’ll read just about anything, as long as it’s competently written and informative or entertaining. But I am incredibly picky when it comes to fiction. One wrong note, one poorly constructed character . . . and the magic is gone; I think the book is shit.

16. A Puerto Rican coworker once looked at me and said, out of nowhere “You don’t look like no American. You look like you’re English or Russian or something.” Fifteen years later, I still haven’t figured out what he meant by that.
1. Thing Number 5
2. Thing Number 8
3. Thing Number 2
4. Thing Number 10
5. Thing Number 4
6. Thing Number 1
7. Thing Number 6
8. Thing Number 9
9. Thing Number 7
10. Thing Number 3

Of course, I've not quite got it in the correct order, but this is the top ten things you don't know about me.
posted by seanyboy 02 April | 07:44
1. I just bought a llama. I'm not really sure why, nor do I know what exactly I'll do with it.

That about covers it for this round.
posted by cmonkey 02 April | 08:44
seanyboy, that Thing Number 6? I totally knew about that. So did some other people, I guess.

Your life's an open book, come to think of it.

As for me:

1) I'm completely ambidextrous with cellphones. Either ear, either hand, speed dial is speed dial to me.

2) I was repeatedly reprimanded in kindergarten, for convincing female classmates to play doctor. They all thought I was sick.

3) I know how to weld many different ways.

4) The first mechanical music reproduction device I was allowed to operate myself used Edison cylinders. It was my grand dad's old Victrola.

5) I've had 2 people live after performing CPR on them for more than 10 minutes each, and turning them over to EMTs. And 3 people who didn't make it, that I knew were going out while I worked on them. If I'm your only choice for CPR, your odds suck.

6) I saw the Berlin Wall from both sides.

7) I made some white majorette boots for Nancy Sinatra. White leather is a pain in the patootie to work with, as it picks up dirt from everywhere. I hated it.

8) I was once the only passenger on a U.S. Airways flight from Newark to Boston. The crew and plane needed to be in Boston the next morning anyway, so the operations cheif in Newark chose to fly the flight as scheduled. It was extremely weird, but the crew was great about it.

9) One day, I rode a motorcycle from Binghampton, NY to Lebanon, TN, a distance of 1006 miles. The seat on the motorcycle did not spring back fully from the compression my butt put in it for 4 days thereafter.

10) I've had the 2 lb. T-Bone "The Cowboy" at Cattleman's, and it was good, what there was of it. But I really recommend their apple pie.

posted by paulsc 02 April | 08:54
1. I just patched a hole in the ceiling for the first time! (The first time for me; other ceiling holes have been patched by other people in the past.)
2. Bought a new CD: Laura Veirs. Pretty damned good.
3. Getting married in late May or early June. I might ask a federal appeals court judge to do the ceremony, but he'll probably say no.
4. I'm changing my name. First name will be the same, but I'm adding my maternal grandfather's last name. I feel more of a connection to him than I do to my father. And I'm going to use my stepfather's middle name as my middle name.
5.-10. Not much else has happened that I haven't already confessed in this public forum.
posted by goatdog 02 April | 09:12
1. I have difficulty sleeping if my feet arent hanging off the edge of the bed.
2. I may have smoked in my sleep on a few occasions
3. I have a permanent lighter-flick callus on my left thumb.
4. When I was a kid I saw a commercial for Bic pens where Charles Nelson Reilly dressed up as a banana. Since then I've harbored an irrational desire to wear that costume.
5. I don't like onions but I like onion rings
6. A contestant on a major reality show has seen me naked.
7. My habit of using ranch on my fries got me dubbed "Ranch Man" at the local Burger King.
8. I sweat in my sleep a lot.
9. I have difficulty finding flattering pants.
10. I always wanted to make a business card for myself that looked like a 1983 Topps Basbeall Card with an employment history where the stats would be.
posted by jonmc 02 April | 09:31
1. I have difficulty sleeping if my feet arent hanging off the edge of the bed.

Hey, me too!

And you should absolutely make that business card. What a great idea.
posted by BoringPostcards 02 April | 09:37
BP, sadly I lack the necessary design skills.
posted by jonmc 02 April | 09:38
1. I'm afraid that all the bunnies know more about me than I even do myself. At this point, are there any secrets left?
2. I'm semi secretly in love. This is making me utterly happy even though I absolutely know that it's going to end and probably pretty soon, too. But then it's ended twice already and started up again. . .
3. I bought a really over the top slinky nightgown for $10 yesterday.
4. I have never had a bikini wax and I think I probably never will although I do keep contemplating it.
5. I like being grungy and sometimes I won't bother showering all weekend.
6. Actually, I'm a slob. My room is a disaster.
7. I'm hopelessly uncoordinated and klutzy and I have never quite figured out right and left. I mean, I can get them, but I have to think about it. This makes me terrible in yoga & tai chi & dance type classes.
8. I can write backwards very easily for pages. I learned how to do this in Saturday detention on LSD.
9. I'm completely ambidextrous with a computer mouse; I can switch from left handed to right handed at will with no problems whatsoever.
10. I'm late for a meeting right now.
posted by mygothlaundry 02 April | 10:01
"The first mechanical music reproduction device I was allowed to operate myself used Edison cylinders. It was my grand dad's old Victrola."

Victrolas don't play cylinders. Victor Talking Machine company only manufactured equipment for disc play; their increased fidelity was their triumph over Edison's cylinders.

"1. I have difficulty sleeping if my feet arent hanging off the edge of the bed."

Me too. Keeps the feet cool.

Things about me you might not know—

1: I was the passenger in a high-speed chase through an urban area. It rather sucked, frankly. The police, after hauling me out, snapped all my pens in half, looking for drugs.

2: I have seen the cocks of both my current girlfriend's father and my prior girlfriend's father. My current girlfriend's father is better hung.

3: Cylob's "Are We Not Men Who Live And Die" sometimes makes me tear up.

4: I once called my mother during a particularly terrible acid trip.

5: I should be working on a paper.

6: I've always wanted to play a musical instrument, but never practiced enough. I'm also uncomfortable with collaboratin with people (and hate groupwork in classes). I just don't understand how the dynamic is supposed to go.

7: I've had at least three beers every night since around Christmas, and fear I might be becoming an alcoholic.

8: Funerals have made me deeply resentful of my extended family.

9: That anonymous question? That was me.

10: I'd love to become a freelance musical taste consultant, helping people discover new music and bringing their sub-genre competency up.
posted by klangklangston 02 April | 10:25
1. I can hypnotize people.
2. I once took a breath underwater.
3. I sleep with a purple hippo puppet jon gave me when I was in the hospital.
4. I once had my period for six weeks.
5. I saw my father die.
6. I can slow time.
7. I will ride any roller coaster anywhere anytime.
8. I used to be a mermaid.
9. I have a scar on my back from a bloodblister when I was born.
10. I'm not from earth.
posted by Pips 02 April | 11:16
1. I can do a fantastic pig grunt noise.
2. I have a scar on my face that I gave myself in the hospital shortly after I was born.
3. I am very very prone to motion sickness.
4. I have never smoked. Or done drugs. But I like drinkin'.
5. I like cheerleading competitions.
6. This summer I want to fence in my backyard and get a new car, but I probably can't do both.
7. I got my undergrad and graduate degrees from the same school.
8. I'm in relationship that there's nothing wrong with but I'm ambivalent about.
9. Two of my siblings contracted Type 2 diabetes last year so I'm paranoid about my fitness level.
10. My mother has unusual aquamarine eyes which she meanly did not hand down to me.
posted by JanetLand 02 April | 11:32
1) In the past three weeks I've talked to my two cats more than to any human being (th' wife's out of town).

2) I'm not super-well-hung by any means, but I have trouble finding pants with a comfortable crotch. A big part of this is that the men in my family tend to develop what is known as a "jug ass" (wide'n'flat) in early middle age. I'm fighting it with exercise, but off the rack pants are not currently designed for incipient jug ass sufferers.

3) I used to post as PinkStainlessTail. That's not super exciting, but I'm having trouble coming up with 10 things. I retired the old nick in part because it really bugged me when Matt mentioned he had trouble keeping TPS and me apart (nothing against Matt or TPS there, BTW). Also, I'm neurotic enough that I figured some people would attach an implicit "I love" to the beginning of the nick and assume I was a pederast. Also someone else said the name sounded like an exotic brand of dildo, and that's really not my style. Also I'm not that into The Red Crayola anymore.

4) This morning I tried to meditate, but I was still kind of sleepy so I kept nodding off. At one point my body temperature went up the way it does when I sleep (kinda like jonmc) and I started sweating just sitting in the living room. It creeped me out, so the meditation had the opposite of the calming effect I was hoping for.

5) Speaking of sleep, I never get enough. Whole months regularly go by without me getting more than six hours a night, when I really need seven or eight. In my more neurotic moments I worry that this is killing me. I'm not insomniac, I just have terrible sleep hygiene.

6) At the end of last year I jumped from a business job to an IT job, because the money and prospects were better (almost the opposite of the situation in one of this morning's Askme questions). I'm still at the point where I feel like a total fraud because I have a very shallow technical background. But they knew that when they promoted me so it's not a valid feeling. Still can't shake it.

7) I keep a stash of novels by Philip Jose Farmer and by Michael Moorcock that I have never read. This dates back to when they were my favorite authors and I was worried about running out of books by them.

8) I started smoking again a year ago, after quitting for four years. However, on weekdays I do not smoke while I'm at work. I do not get nic fits during the day either. And yet I'm having difficulty quitting outright again, despite quitting for 9-12 hours every day.

9) I have a morbid fear of senility (my own and that of others).

10) I was mentioned by name in Eddie Campbell's blog a few days ago (because I mentioned a radio series in the comments of a previous entry, not because I have done anything that makes me a peer of Eddie Campbell).
posted by Lentrohamsanin 02 April | 11:56
1. People tell me their secrets. I've no idea why.
2. Today is 2.5 years since I got married.
3. Red wine gives me insane headaches, even one glass, but I still drink it quite often. I am stupid like that.
4. I am the mouse-catcher-and-disposer-of in our relationship.
5. I type out approximately 150% more comments than I actually post in metachat and metafilter. This is probably why most people seem to like me :)
6. One of my favourite times ever spent with people from the internet is still eating vietnamese with LolaG, trharlan, jonmc, pips, hugh janus, the wino, trishalynn, (mr. gaspode) (other people?) last year.
7. I once had vivid hallucinations while in the ER on i.v. anti-histamines. I had to be restrained.
8. I have a fixed belief that the more colourful a meal, the better it is for you. (jonmc's subs notwithstanding)
9. I despise the term "with all due respect"
10. I love, and know a lot about (certain) sports.
posted by gaspode 02 April | 12:00
One of my favourite times ever spent with people from the internet is still eating vietnamese with LolaG, trharlan, jonmc, pips, hugh janus, the wino, trishalynn, (mr. gaspode) (other people?) last year.

Wow. That was probably one of the most difficult nights of my life. But I suppose it all worked out in the end. And the subsequent friendships have been great.
posted by Pips 02 April | 12:15
Oh yeah, I bet, pips. I was thinking more about the food aspect. (it also wasn't a fun night for mr. g)
posted by gaspode 02 April | 12:18
1. despite having grown up in the midst of genX goth culture and been a bike messenger, i have zero ink and only the standard boring single ear piercings i got as a 12-year-old girl. many people are confused by this. i have no clue as to why.

2. i do, however have many, many, many scars, courtesy of being an active, competitive equestrian, skateboarder and cyclist (read: risk/adrenaline junkie) since approximately age five.

3. i made the USET's longlist of olympic hopefuls in 1987-88 for show jumping. sadly i wasn't adequately sponsored to be able to afford the six to seven figures it would have taken to pursue that further.

4. i lived here for the first four years of my life.

5. i have never been in downtown NYC, despite the fact that i have many friends there, my mother grew up in Larchmont, and having been many other exciting places in my life.

6. at age 22, i quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Frankfurt, packed two bags of clothes and converted all my worldly savings to german currency (wound up being 70 deutchemarks) and somehow survived for a year over there despite not being able to speak a word of german upon arrival.

7. (thanks gaspode!) i also used to rescue my tall, strong, very masculine x from all manner of spiders, creepycrawlies and it was 'my job' to empty mousetraps, etcetera. i once even dispatched a trapped-but-not-dead mouse with the heel of a 9 West pump, then dropped the carcase 3 stories out an open window into the dumpster... he never failed to trot that anecdote out in polite conversation, either. he chose to find the whole thing morbidly hilarious, i merely believe i was being pragmatic.

8. i used to watch 'ant wars' for hours as a kid, collected all manner of bugs in jars, will gladly handle snakes, and i am fascinated by millipedes (all from a conversation i had with my SO yesterday)

9. i love to fish.

10. i can shoot pool, shoot a rifle, shoot a bow, throw a football and fly a 2-line stunt kite better than most guys I know.
posted by lonefrontranger 02 April | 12:26
1. I love obscure words that sound good.
2. I love reading, which is odd since I abhorred it when I was young
3. I really play 3 musical instruments, but am capable of making music on many others (but not to the extent that I consider it really playing), and have decided that pretty much all musical instruments are identical.
4. I find sewing and woodworking to be nearly identical hobbies. If you can do one, you can do the other. They require similar skills and spatial reasoning.
5. I remotely logged off Dennis Ritchie using the stty hack when I was 15.
6. I've played a variant of baseball with Dennis Ritchie and Rob Pike, indoors, with a large solid copper cylinder for a bat.
7. I speak French and Japanese and actively eavesdrop on conversations in those languages. My spouse can tell when I'm doing it and tolerates it fairly well.
8. My recall is visual/auditory, although not in enough detail to read things. Memories tend to stick for decades accurately.
9. I published a video game for the Apple II when I was in 9th grade, which was sort of fun but really only stood out as being the first video game with punctuation in its title.
10. I love homegrowing tomatoes. It's 9 months of foreplay for a three month orgasm.
posted by plinth 02 April | 12:35
1. I once agreed to do a nude scene in a college play. The administration nixed it and I ended up doing it in a bra and panties. Two kids and 18 years of gravity later, I wish I'd shown the world ALL my stuff.
2. I never finish anything. I'll leave one cookie in the bag or an inch of shampoo at the bottom of the bottle. It drives my husband nuts, but he grew up knowing that there would always be more. I didn't.
3. I can walk on stilts with ease.
4. Despite being klutzy as hell on dry land, I have amazing "sea legs."
5. I can't sing. At all. But I landed many singing roles and choral solos in my youth because I can belt out a song with conviction.
6. My only debt is my mortgage.
7. I like some of you more than my "real" friends.
8. I gave up eating meat for about 5 years. Then I went to Europe and could not resist the sausages. Mmmm...sausage.
9. I simply do not understand how anyone can find jeans comfortable.
10. I can't journal extemporaneously anymore because I find it too stressful. I keep thinking that anything I write needs a better lede, a more interesting premise or something to "hook" the reader.
posted by jrossi4r 02 April | 12:39
1. I think birds are cute in the same way that most people think kittens are cute. In general, I think birds are way cuter than kittens.
2. I once had a quasi-religious/spiritual experience looking at a Rothko painting.
3. I'm totally narcissistic about my body piercings.
4. In an altered state I once perceived that I was visited by the spirit of Wittgenstein. The sense of his presence was surprisingly warm and welcoming -- not at all as austere as I would have expected.
5. Well-done postmodern theory gives me a woodie. Poorly-done postmodern theory makes me enraged.
6. If I could eat nothing but cheese, smoked salmon, and red wine for the rest of my life, I'd be completely ok with that. Oh, and V8 too.
7. I sometimes wish I weren't such a patient person.
8. I've always been in awe of clouds. Except when they're completely covering the sky with a solid blanket of gray, they're so beautiful. And huge. And floating. Mmm, clouds.
9. The only 2 sports I ever enjoyed in elementary and/or high school were field hockey and wrestling. The latter in particular -- it was like hugging and being competitive at the same time.
10. I don't read as much as I used to, and I miss it. Damn internets.
posted by treepour 02 April | 13:07
1. Despite the fact that I usually restrain myself, I'm incredibly nosy and want to know what happened to Pips and mr. gaspode.

2. In spite of having no kids, I am a grandmother of two.

3. I have a step-son who is only four years younger than myself.

4. I used to be afraid of the Easter Bunny because he could get inside the house. For some reason the thought of Santa Claus getting inside the house didn't scare me.

5. I've had an online journal since June 4, 2001.

6. The first record I bought on my own was Air Supply (Lost in Love).

7. I went to eight different schools (K-12).

8. I'm agnostic with atheistic tendencies. In spite (because?) of that, I find religion fascinating.

9. I have no "real" friends. All my friends are online.

10. I like animals more than I like people.
posted by deborah 02 April | 13:12

10. I looked them up and a few things I wrote in my previous two "10 things you don't know about me" are now no longer valid.
09. I hate tucking in shirts. HATE. HATE. HATE.
08. I used to dislike belts too, but I've come to feel uncomfortable without one.
07. I am not this guy.
06. I have had 3 separate operations on my feet.
05. I always thought I would move to San Francisco when I was older. I've still never even visited that city. Sometimes I can barely spell it without a reference.
04. I do not consider myself a musician at all, though I've been playing bass for over 15 years and been in 6 gigging/recording bands in that time.
03. I think most people would agree with 04 after hearing me sing without accompaniment.
02. Though there's been many exceptions along the way, I've eaten the same thing for lunch five days a week for approximately the last six years. It's a "thing" at work because of it.
01. I was a mardi gras king and a chief of my grade before I was 10. It's been all down hill since.
posted by safetyfork 02 April | 13:27
Um, goatdog? Congratulations to you and the art historian!
posted by smich 02 April | 13:32
safetyfork? I hate fucking in shirts too.

Oh, uh, oops. Carry on!
posted by mygothlaundry 02 April | 13:43
I hate fucking in shirts too
Come on, mgl...what if you're wearing his shirt? A nice crisp white cotton button-down that smells faintly of good cologne and clean sweat? Wearing his shirt and nothing else. And you've only got, like, one button done so it keeps sliding off your shoulder as you slide....

Goddammit, when will this interminable vajayjaycation end?!?!?!
posted by jrossi4r 02 April | 13:58
Wait, i thought the group vajayjaycation ended last Friday-- when the hell does vajayjaycation end and will i be penalized?
posted by ethylene 02 April | 14:14
I like some of you more than my "real" friends.
I agree with you on this one jrossi!

1. I am horribly klutzy for no reason at all. The BF calls me 'Clod' for this reason.
2. My hedgehog's name is Mango because I like to say the word. I don't know what I would have named her if she was actually a boy.
3. I only smoke clove cigarettes, Djarum Blacks to be exact. Despite smoking for a couple of years, I don't really think I'm addicted. I don't really *crave* a smoke unless I'm drinking and can go hours or days without having one because I just don't feel like it. I attribute this to the fact that I smoke only Blacks because I love the taste. It's like any food - if I don't have a taste for a pizza, I'm not going to eat one.
4. I have been known to polish off an entire bag of Double Stuf Oreos in one sitting. This is why I cannot allow them in my house.
5. I got bored at work a few years ago and taught myself to write with my left hand. I'm still pretty good at it.
6. I ended an 11-year friendship to be with the BF. It's been over two years and I still don't regret it.
7. I have an inability to live with other women. Even if we move in together as friends, we will not be friends at the end of it.
8. I once dated a guy that worked for the parent company of Partylite. He used to give me free candles all the time. It's been about three years since we were together and I still have a whole file cabinet drawer FULL of candles.
9. I have a strange and uncontrollable love for cheese.
10. At work, I use one pen until it runs out. I can't stand when I lose or someone takes it, because I have to get a new one without the old one being out of ink.
posted by youngergirl44 02 April | 14:27
will i be penalized
That's the traditional way of ending a v-cation.
posted by jrossi4r 02 April | 15:00
Things you didn't know about me (brushes with fame edition)
1. My dad was miniature golf champ of the world and has the newspaper article to prove it.
2. I had a class with someone on an MTV realityish show and ate lunch with a future-Jeopardy Tournament of Champions winner and I went to college with a feature local NPR host.
3. I once nearly knocked over the author of "Stones of Summer"
4. I once held the door open for Alan Alda
5. I currently have a message for my boss from Chuck Palahniuk on my voicemail.
6. My feet appeared in a "I heard you're having a party" video
7. John Hodgman dubbed me "Albuterol Mikey"
8. My last band opened for the Ditty Bops twice, and the Trachtenburg Family Players once.
9. I was once mistaken for a cop.
10. My picture has been on the front page of the local Onion
posted by drezdn 02 April | 15:06
1. I have been using teh internets since 1994.
2. I have never done drugs or smoked cigarettes. I do drink occasionally.
3. I took 12 years of French and three years of Latin.
4. I am an ex-Christian.
5. I have episodes iii-vi of the Star Wars movies memorized.
6. I LOVE mayonnaise.
7. I love doing laundry. I hate putting it away.
8. I feel smugly superior when I see people stuck in traffic as I zoom past them on the light rail.
9. I love gardening.
10. My favorite color is cobalt blue.
posted by Luminous Phenomena 02 April | 15:48
1. I don't like asparagus.
2. I had my jaw broken on purpose.
3. I like red and have more recently grown fond of green, but purple is still number one.
4. I love stargazer lilies and fuschia gerbera daisies.
5. I was allergic to sashimi for a couple years but have since gotten over it and am free to love chirashi once more.
6. I have an award for Best Jr. Woodwind and Best Gr. 11 Music student.
7. I had to change my name.
8. I have more guy friends than girl friends.
9. I have a weakness for really cute stationary.
10. I don't like Hello Kitty.
posted by phoenixc 02 April | 18:32
1. I can pick up things with my toes.
2. I once brought a guy home from the bar. We "dated" for two months, until I met my husband.
3. I can read upside down and backwards.
4. I used to have hair down past my butt.
5. I love horses.
6. I gave birth naturally to a 9 lb. 6 oz. boy. I'm 5 ft. 1 inch.
7. I'm afraid to go to meetups in case you don't like me in person.
8. I love clouds, trees, the outdoors.
9. I can kayak.
10. I have a higher sex drive than most women I know.
posted by redvixen 02 April | 19:27
1. I used to write and read a great deal of poetry. I wanted to be ee cummings. I still have many of my notebooks.

2. I've never driven a motorized vehicle on a highway or freeway. But I've been on a SoCal freeway on a bicycle. I am, however, a damn fine navigator and roadtrip co-pilot and/or support team member.

3. I was once sharply and fiercely interrogated about literature and life in general for several hours on the phone by Laura Huxley (wife of Aldus Huxley) after I didn't believe that a friend of a roommate was her granddaughter. So she called her up and put me on the phone with her.

4. I'm pretty sure I've met someone from another planet. At a party a few hundred miles out in the middle of nowhere in the desert. A hitchhiker, if you will. He was actually introduced as being from [some star system.] He looked quite human, if elfin, but like he walked off of a Farscape set. He carried a staff and a number of organic looking but entirely unidentifiable artifacts or gadgets that vastly exceeded the level of prop work which I've been quite familiar with through various contacts over the years, and as a hobbiest as a modeller and such. I shook his hand. He was, as The Hitchhiker's Guide says, a *very* long way from home. The experience left me quite rattled for several months.

5. I tend to be attracted to much older woman, and tend to date well outside of my means. I've dated a double PhD, going for her third. Once was a 54 year old woman I met at work. I was 25. She was gorgeous. The sex was incredible. We broke a surpising amount of furniture. Neither of us were overweight - merely vigorous. I seriously dated a 36 year old for several years when I was 21 who was just way too insanely beautiful, polished and worldly for me. I had a terrible time in school because of the crushes I'd form on some of my teachers. I also once seriously dated and wooed an avowed lesbian. What can I say? I'm a sensitive guy with rather intense lingual skills.

6. I meditate. I also do yoga - but not often enough. I practice Tantra - and I have done so intuitively as long as I can remember. I'm familiar with a number of mind and body-hacking techniques. I once held my breath for nearly 6 minutes without the aid of oxygen prebreathing. I can cause my heart to speed or slow, and control my breathing. I can warm myself in very cold weather or water with controlled breathing, and have survived in situations that probably would have resulted in hypothermia otherwise. It burns lots of calories, though.

7. I'm a fairly skilled negotiator and conflict resolver. Much to my annoyance I often find myself in the thick of things defusing and untangling drama and trying to get everyone talking and happy again. People also talk to me a lot. I honestly do care, but many times I'd really rather not know. I guess that makes me approachable.

8. I write erotica. I do. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm really rather good at it. It's an outlet for me, because I'm really rather more sexual than most that I've ever met, and my sexuality is fortunately and unfortunately very cerebral and complicated.

9. I know I'm a hippy-weirdo, but I believe that there's magic, healing and power in love and sex and touch and contact in all of their myriad, gradiated forms. I believe that love is important - the energy of it, the spoken and unspoken thoughts, the appreciation of others, the comfort, the inherent removal of walls and barriers, the increases of empathy - all of it. That all of it is terribly important, and there's not enough of it in this world.

10. I haven't been posting anywhere nearly as much because I've been out in the real world collecting fresh stories. The old ones were getting quite stale, and there are new adventures being had. On April Fools I posted a comment in MeTa that was a reply to "why is this thread still open?" and my response was "so I can flame out. So long, fuckers!" and I was very nearly completely and still am at least slightly serious. I almost logged out and deleted my cookies. The novelty is gone and I'm not quite sure how much more I have to say there, and I just haven't been enjoying typing for hours on end about whatever is at hand. It's no lack of love for the folks here or over there, but it's just not the thrill it once was.
posted by loquacious 02 April | 21:07
1. I am really doing terrible things to my sleep hygiene these past few weeks. For a long time I simply did not stay up past midnight (joked that I would turn into a pumpkin, but really was proud of my good sleep hygiene.)

2. I used to date a man (he was a boy then, 16) who works at Google now. He is wealthy and I resent him for it.

3. I lost my virginity on the day that Princess Diana died and was flying home from Russia on the day of the Oklahoma City bombing. August 31 and April 19. I was working in a sailboat ticket booth on the morning of 9/11.

4. I haven't had the oil changed in my car since, um, last July. I tell myself it's because of money, and I promise I will do it when I get my loans for this semester. (hopefully the check will come next week.)

5. I am afraid that I will become and alcoholic or an anorexic.

6. I love to study and would prefer to not work while in school.

7. My purebred Tonkinese cat's name was Telane (maybe it was Telaine?) Spring Beauty of Renora. Telane was my grandmother's cattery, Spring Beauty is a flower and Renora was my cattery. Spring's mother's name was Blue Bell.

8. I have two cousins who are Mormon. I just learned that myself last week. It explains a lot of my interactions with them when we were children. Like, that they went to Temple. Which I thought was a dorky part of their Star Trek conventions.

9. My family arrived in Mass. in 1634 on the Rose. From Yarmouth. John was a weaver.

10. I could join the DAR but haven't yet because I don't speak to my aging grandmother. I really want the paperwork so I can attend stuffy teas and get a scholarship.
posted by bilabial 03 April | 00:18
1) I have a huge crush on loquacious.
2) I am not nearly as well informed as people think I am.
3) I am extremely lazy. Just like in school I do the minimum amount of effort on everything.
4) One of my favourite snacks is taking some cheddar, slicing it thin on a plate and nuking it for 2:30 until it's all crackly and glued to the plate. Then I pour off the fat, add pepper and pry it up with a knife. Yum!
5)I really want to get my own dog and train it properly without any dumb assholes fucking up my training, and then have a really well trained dog that can follow me safely about Glasgow off lead. A characterful bulldog of some sort would be best - perhaps one of those Jack Russell-coloured pit bulls the local neds seem to have.
6) On 9/11 I was off for 3 days from my job at the butchers, and I drank a fifth of tequila.
7) If this marriage thing doesn't work out I will go to Palestine (get some sort of proper job at an NGO).
8) I almost never wear makeup, skirts or high heeled shoes. Thus when I do it's rather special - I'm either girding for battle or love.
9) I have a nice collection of Frilly Underwear.
10) I probably have ADD and need some druggage for it.
posted by By the Grace of God 03 April | 04:27
1) I was once in the Jeopardy contestant pool for a year, but I never got called to be on the show. If I had, I would have likely faced Ken Jennings.
2) I was born at a U.S. Air Force hospital in Germany. The doctor who delivered me was most likely drunk. My mother recalls that all the doctors were having a raucous going away party for someone in the room next to where I was delivered.
3) I once ate smoked moose heart. It wasn't too bad.
4) When I was in high school, I got pneumonia and almost died.
5) I always thought I would never have any children, but my son turns two in May.
6) When people tell you that getting staples removed from your scalp won't hurt, they are lying.
7) Both my parents are teachers and I was once a teacher too. It's something I'd like to get back into, but I have a feeling it's too late now to switch careers.
8) A close friend once said that you could always be sure of two things with me. One, if there's a T.V. in the room, I'll turn it on. Two, if there's a beer in the fridge, I'll drink it.
9) I like watching soccer, but I've only actually played the game once. This fact is rather embarrassing when it comes up chatting with fellow soccer fans.
10) Someday, I would like to have a game room.
posted by Otis 03 April | 10:51
1) I did go on Jeopardy, but I lost because the light pen turned off before I got to the last letter of "Asimov".

2) I once removed my own stitches, from a cut I got when my brother crashed the motorcycle we were riding in Thailand. (It didn't hurt)

3) I grew up at a summer camp.

4) I have never smoked tobacco.

5) I read a LOT of fanfiction, especially for TV shows that I don't watch.

6) I got completely drunk on a train from Portugal to Spain on the night of the 2004 election, and ended up swapping rounds with some Republicans from San Diego. We didn't talk about politics beyond that.

7) I sneeze really, really loud. It scares people.

8) I hate listening to audiobooks.

9) I drink chicory coffee.

10) I actually don't mind the "libarian stereotype". I like having a stereotype.

posted by exceptinsects 03 April | 20:43
If folks are still playing:

1. At my job, people think I really care about them. The odd thing is that I do care, but I'm really pretty much a misanthrope. (Does NOT apply to bunnies! I like you people.)
2. My dad introduced me to science fiction (and reading in general) when I was a child, and I've been hooked ever since.
3. My first real job out of college was as a technical writer/editor and I miss it.
4. When drunk and eating oysters, I tend to loudly and happily compare the flavor to the ocean and/or pussy. My guy wishes I wouldn't do that.
5. I love to draw and paint and work with clay, and dream of maybe making some money by it someday, but I'm afraid that no one really likes the work.
6. I love to sing when no one is listening.
7. I wish I had my best gal friends ever near me, but they both live really far away.
8. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a librarian. Maybe someday. I'm not too old to start yet another career.
9. I never thought I wanted to be a mom, until I became one. Then I never thought I'd be any good at it, and I'm happily surprised when people tell me how great my kids are.
10. I've lived though marital abuse, a house fire, and then LTMFA (The ex started the fire, on accident, and then got thrown in jail less than a week later for something unrelated. There were stepkids involved. It was all very difficult.). When things get rough, I try to remember that time and things don't seem so bad.

posted by lilywing13 04 April | 01:01
I also have not-so-secret crushes on and/or feel like I'm related to a bunch of y'all. :-)
posted by lilywing13 04 April | 01:07
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