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02 February 2007

This song is dedicated to ... [More:]OK, it's a long story, and I have to be circumspect in telling it, because it relates to my anonymous fellowship, but you may guess who it is anyway.

So, I'm at my local AA meeting one Friday night, and there's this guy sharing his story, young-ish man, early 30s. Never seen him before, didn't know him.

Anyway, his story was that he had a talent, and was very successful in his chosen field, but because of drinking he almost lost everything and he ended up having to go and live with his mother in a nasty little town in Essex. He hated it, he thought it was beneath him to have to go back to the place he grew up and at first he was full of grandiosity that he was a star but forced to live in his old bedroom at home. But he'd since learned some humility and now he appreciated the working-class values of his parents.

So, the format of the meeting was that, once he'd finished his story, people could share back with him their identification, experience, etc. I was third or fourth to share back and I said that I had really identified with him, I used to live about 3 miles from the town he spoke about, and I'd also had those feelings of grandiosity that I was better than my neighbours (it's a common thing for drunks to be grandiose - lying drunk in the gutter, but still looking down on everyone).

I said that I used to live next door to this family who played the same song over and over and over. It had been a huge worldwide hit the year before. I loved the song, absolutely loved it, but my neighbours got on my nerves, they thought it was a drinking song because part of the lyric made it sound like that, and they used to yell it out at that point in the song.

But I knew, because I'd listened beyond the song's chorus, that it was really a song about nihilism, despair and about having to live in a crappy Essex suburb when I felt I deserved more.

The meeting ran its course, closed with the Serenity Prayer and then we all headed off home.

I was just driving out of the car park when the guy from the meeting practically threw himself in my path, forcing me to stop. He banged on the window, I rolled it down.

"I have to talk to you, I MUST talk to you!" he said.

It turned out that it was his song, he'd written it, and he'd grown to hate it because everybody thought it was a drinking song. He always had to perform it because it was his biggest hit, but he hated it. Until now.

"You're the only person who's ever understood what that song is about. You said exactly what I was feeling when I wrote it. Thank you. You have no idea, you really have no idea what it means for me. I feel like you've given me my song back ..."

He asked for my name. He wrote it down. We hugged, said goodnight. I forgot about it.

Fast forward a few months. His band was on TV, a concert filmed in Japan. The intro to the song started. The crowd went wild. He said "This is for Jan. This will always be for Jan."

I've seen him on TV twice since then and also live in concert, and he said it each time then too.

I also heard him speak at another AA meeting a couple of years ago when he told the story from his perspective. I was very moved.

So, there you have it. Not quite "Darling You Look Wonderful Tonight" but I still get a shiver down my spine every time I hear 'my' song on the radio.

Stunning story.
posted by rainbaby 02 February | 15:19
Wow. That is AWESOME!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 02 February | 15:21
That's such an amazing way to have touched someone!
posted by Specklet 02 February | 15:22
That is such a phenomenal thing to share. Thank you!
posted by psho 02 February | 15:24
Awwwwwwwwwwww. Very, very cool.
posted by occhiblu 02 February | 15:28
I'm pretty sure I know exactly what band and song you're talking about...
posted by dersins 02 February | 15:38
...but that's a great story, either way.
posted by dersins 02 February | 15:39
That is so wonderful Jan. . .it made my day to read it, and I still have no idea what song/artist but that's beside the point isn't it?
posted by danf 02 February | 15:40
What an amazing story, Jan. Simply amazing.
posted by gaspode 02 February | 15:45
Honey, that literally brought tears to my eyes. As a songwriter myself, I have a pretty good idea of what that meant to him. Awesome story.

posted by bunnyfire 02 February | 15:57
Good story, Jan.
posted by Miko 02 February | 15:59
Wonderful story jan, thanks for sharing.
posted by LoriFLA 02 February | 15:59
See, when you said you were talking about having an artist dedicating a #1 song to you, I thought you were talking about Big Elvis :-D Yes, I really did.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 02 February | 16:00
I am with danf, and I agree - WONDERFUL story. I have known musicians who have come to loathe that which made them famous as well. It's a tough place to be in.
posted by richat 02 February | 16:08
You know somewhere on some AskMe Analog there a question floating around: "Who the heck is Jan that Foo dedicates the song Bar to everytime he sings it?
posted by Mitheral 02 February | 16:09
Big Elvis only had eyes for you, Pink Tutu Lady.
posted by essexjan 02 February | 16:15
*sniffles* That totally made me cry. Good on you, and good on him.
posted by TrishaLynn 02 February | 16:18
I know we need to respect the man's anonymity but I sure wish I knew what the song was. Dang it.
posted by bunnyfire 02 February | 16:26
What a great story, jan.
posted by jrossi4r 02 February | 16:28
Incredible!
posted by brujita 02 February | 16:45
Wow. Stunning story.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane 02 February | 17:51
Thanks for this, jan... fantastic story.

(even my better half doesn't know who it is, though)
posted by Pips 02 February | 18:16
Well, pips, if your man doesn't know, I don't feel so bad.
posted by bunnyfire 02 February | 18:25
(even my better half doesn't know who it is, though)

Really? But... Well, maybe I'm wrong. But it seems so self-evident.
posted by dersins 02 February | 18:31
I find this immensely frustrating. I didn't care much when I first read this, but I *have* to know now.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane 02 February | 19:01
Well, I'm certainly not posting my suppositions in an open internet forum.
posted by dersins 02 February | 19:03
What a wonderful story! And yeah, really would like to know who it is.
posted by deborah 02 February | 21:23
That was awesome and inspiring, essexjan.

And I feel bad if it was a song we used to drink to. I'd like to know the song but I also kind of don't want to know, ya know?
posted by fenriq 03 February | 00:58
awesome, Jan! That's the best hat tip ever!
posted by By the Grace of God 03 February | 05:51
Stories like that are what make it all worthwhile, Jan. Fantastic! Thanks for sharing.
posted by chewatadistance 03 February | 07:40
Porterhouse, t-bone, ribeye, sirloin or filet? || awwwww-inspiring

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