MetaChat - Site News: New Rule.

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09 September 2006

Site News: New Rule. Please see inside for our new policy regarding gifts, wishlists, and contributions. →[More:]

This has seemed like a bit of a slippery item for a while, so it's probably time to go ahead and set some policy. It's been a fun and sweet thing for some members to occasionally exchange some gifts, but not everyone has the means or inclination to do this, and we don't want people to feel pressured about this sort of thing, even indirectly. Metachat members are exceedingly warm and softhearted, but we also want to head off any potential for abuse of this kindness. Such a thing has not happened yet, and we don't want it to. So here are the guidelines:

Wishlists: Please don't ask for items from your wishlist, or refer people to look at it (or the wishlist of someone else) in posts or comments. Also, if you'd like to thank someone for a gift, please don't do so in a post, and use your best judgement in comments. You can do any of that stuff on your site and wiki profile pages (and personal emails, of course), but try to refrain in posts and comments.

Gifts: It's okay to talk about shopping or things you're drooling over, but don't ask that something be bought for you, or suggest that gifts be purchased for someone else. And, again, please don't make posts thanking people for gifts they've given you. If you are wondering if a post like that breaks the guidelines, please email me about it.

Contributions: Please don't ask for contributions for yourself, another member, or other people on the internet (or real life, for that matter). If there is a special case that you feel deserves site attention, please email me about your suggestion, and we'll see if there's a way to work it out.

Charity Drives: Please don't ask members to donate to a charity you are involved with. Again, you can put this information on your profile pages, and if you feel there is a special significance to site members, please email me to discuss it.

Sorry if any of this is disappointing, but you'll have to trust that we've thought it through and are doing this in the best interest of everybody over the long term. The wishlists will remain on the Wiki (which you can always easily reach from the left sidebar), and people who are interested can always check there. The main objective of this policy for the site is to head off potential scams and abuse, and to try to keep anyone from feeling excluded or pressured.

post by: taz at: 09:53 | 24 comments

Special apologies to jonmc, because it may seem that this is in response to him, since he's mentioned his wishlist recently. It's not about jon personally (not about jon? Unpossible!), but more about what might be done in the future, using past events as justification. So, jon - sorry, dude; don't feel picked on.

Furthermore, I know it's human nature for people to react to a post like this by thinking "Oh, no! This is about that thing I did." I am telling you emphatically that it's not about any individual here or anything posted in the past. It's about posts that we don't want to be seeing in the future (money-begging stuff, etc.), and about trying to avoid anyone feeling that they're left out if they don't buy/get gifts.

Also, this is kind of ooky, because I am going to do a fundraising thing in the near future for the site, with a specific dollar-figure goal to recompense seanyboy for hosting costs for Metachat that he's paying out of pocket. I trust that most of you will realize how this is different, though, yes?

posted by taz 09 September | 09:53

Sounds reasonable.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 09 September | 10:14

Completely reasonable. Thanks taz.

*scraps begging letter*

posted by essexjan 09 September | 10:22

Good. Thanks.

posted by gaspode 09 September | 11:13

I think the "no thanking anyone" bit is excessive.

posted by kmellis 09 September | 11:20

You can do any of that stuff on your site and wiki profile pages (and personal emails, of course)
Seems reasonable to me, and not the same as "no thanking anyone".

posted by Wolfdog 09 September | 11:28

You can still thank by email. We'd rather not put people into the situation where they feel guilty because they don't give anything or they feel unloved because they never receive anything.

posted by seanyboy 09 September | 11:39

Good intentions, I understand that. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like excessive micromanagement. You've got a long, hard road ahead of you if you want to eliminate guilt and low self-esteem from MetaChat.

posted by kmellis 09 September | 11:54

I like this idea, and I appreciate all the effort you guys are putting into making this place gooder.

posted by iconomy 09 September | 12:34

You've got a long, hard road ahead of you if you want to eliminate guilt and low self-esteem from MetaChat.

Jesus, take it down a notch, Keith. They're not micromanaging, they're asking people to be considerate and use common sense.

And it seems to me the biggest pothole on that "long road" they face is people criticizing every little request that taz makes. It happens every damn time.

She's not your mom and she's not your boss and she's not acting like either, so give it a rest.

posted by mudpuppie 09 September | 13:06

Works for me, thanks for thinking ahead!

posted by safetyfork 09 September | 13:19

Makes sense to me, taz. Well thought out--thank you.

posted by elizard 09 September | 13:56

Good policy, and appreciated. Thanks, taz!

posted by occhiblu 09 September | 15:38

"Jesus, take it down a notch, Keith."

Comparing your comment and mine, seems like it's you who needs to take things down a notch.

posted by kmellis 09 September | 18:43

I trust that most of you will realize how this is different, though, yes?

5, 10, 20 bucks (or the equivalent euros/yen/pesos/codfish) per poster wouldn't kill anyone. Put up a pass-the-hat link on the front page in big red letters and let's get to it.

posted by hangashore 09 September | 19:11

As long as there's a tote bag or travel mug for donations, I'm in. Or at least a picture of a bunny playing the drums. That's really all it'd take to get me to kick in a few dollars to help the cause.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 09 September | 22:36

Heh... Well, we have one fun, secret fundraising thingy planned. We just need to get a couple ducks in a row to get the exact amount needed for radio hosting plus the upgrade on the server settled. We'll probably start it next week and keep a running total in the yellow circle.

posted by taz 09 September | 23:01

Forget the travel mug, how 'bout a special bunny-playing-the-drums t-shirt? (I am not necessarily volunteering anyone to design, but I am glancing casually in Slack-a-gogo's direction.)

posted by scody 10 September | 02:03

Can I make a post telling people to donate money to MetaChat?

posted by sciurus 10 September | 17:14

[this is good]

This has concerned me for a while, actually - while it is great that people are running around buying each other presents and all, it was starting to feel a bit strange for some reason - as if it was almost expected and that is not good.

Anyway, pre-emptive policy is far, far better than the other kind. Always.

As iconomy said, thanks for making things gooder. Or betterer, if you want to use correct grammar.

posted by dg 10 September | 20:55

Wait a bit, sciurus... Here's the situation: we need to get the radio hosting bit settled, then when we have the dollar figure on that for a year, plus the server upgrade figure for a year, we'll know the total amount, and we'll do a little drive showing how much has been received toward that goal so that everyone knows where we stand.

And maybe have a little fun along the way... :)

posted by taz 11 September | 02:08

Well, I agree with most of the rules, but I dunno about in cases of 'anonymous' gifts - I've been on both ends of it, and I think it's something that should be encouraged in a "pay it forward" sort of way (not speaking about just dollar-value gifts off of wishlists, but little day-brighteners of all kinds). But I can also see why that sort of encouragement may not belong on MeCha.

posted by muddgirl 11 September | 10:46

Finally. Thank you. There's no way, without making it mandatory and organized, to make sure no one is left out. And thank you for sidebarring this post, or I would've missed it.

*adores taz even more*

posted by Eideteker 11 September | 10:50

*throws away begging shawl and tin cup*

posted by warbaby 16 October | 00:15

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