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10 July 2006

Assumptions Suck [More:]

BOXED
-joe famous-

you can't put me in a box
and just stick on a label
"black dude with attitude"
"rapper cat"
"dark gable"
"pimpdaddy-hustler"
"player with 10 chicks in the stable"
'cause I may be some of these
but, got more layers than trees

i'll talk to you about politics
and social awareness
theology, the bible belt
biopics, racial fairness
mathematic integers
green lawn, blue porn
donny and marie, flip
tony orlando and dawn
shall i go on?

korn, radiohead, big daddy kane
two versions of "you're so vain"
corazon aquino
stephen king and keynote speakers
and the watergate hearings
engelbert humperdink, tom jones
that song "feelings"

the history of mud wrestling as a sport
small claims court
of course the new york city system of law
and what's it's for
etiquette at washington heights bodegas
life savers
beer culture, ted nugent
influential rap music

mr. t and knight rider
local cocaine suppliers
(well maybe not that)
but, dogs and certain cat allergies
funny analogies
and other things you wouldn't believe
like houdini and doug henning
and those tricks up their sleeves

so don't put me in a box,
tape me up, go watch cable
my references are well available
upon request
ask me anything you want
and i'll answer the best way that i can
just as long as i'm bein' treated like a man
understand?!






*puts you in a box, tapes it up and ships it to Uruguay*
posted by Daniel Charms 10 July | 15:40
This is fantastic, you pimpdaddy-hustler you.
posted by iconomy 10 July | 15:43
"Dark Gable" is awesome. As is any rhyme which name checks Corazon Aquino. I give it 5 mikes.
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 15:46
well, mic's 'cause that's the kind of mick I am, I give myself 100 mikes of valium and sleep under the desk 'till tomorrow morning.
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 15:47
Well at least I'm goin somewhere I've never been.
Any word on the best beaches in Uruguay, D.C.? LOL.

THANKS, ICONOMY!
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 15:47
Divine Wino needs a stand-up gig!

LMAO!!!!!!!!
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 15:49
Great stuff, Joe Famous. I like your styles.

Now, about the history of mud wrestling as a sport... enquiring minds want to know.
posted by Hugh Janus 10 July | 15:52
Besides the Carly Simon 'You're So Vain,' and the Janet Jackson interpretation, there's also a hair-metal cover version. I can't remember who recorded it, but jonmc probably knows.
posted by box 10 July | 15:53
"My rhymin is a vitamin, Hell without a capsule
The smooth criminal on beat breaks
Never put me in your box if your shit eats tapes
The city never sleeps, full of villians and creeps
That's where I learned to do my hustle had to scuffle with freaks
I'ma addict for sneakers, twenties of buddah and bitches with beepers
In the streets I can greet ya, about blunts I teach ya
Inhale deep like the words of my breath
I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
I lay puzzle as I backtrack to earlier times
Nothing's equivalent, to the new york state of mind"


This world needs Illmatic era Nas now more than ever!
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 15:59
Never put me in your box if your shit eats tapes

I seem to have developed some odd internet stutter where I need to qualify everything I say.


D-d-d-did I internetstutter motherfucker?
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 16:01
Well, I do happen to love MOP a whole bunch, those dudes are so tuff I heard they once yoked themselves up for potentially thinking about possibly half-steppin for a sec. Stop Pushin', that's good stuff.
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 16:06
[M.O.P.] If it's animosity
[Guru] Let me know
[M.O.P.] If you plottin to stop my dough
[Lil' Fame] Time to go!
[M.O.P.] GangStarr, M.O.P. nigga
[Billy Danze] Tryin to blow!
[M.O.P.] If you my man you could understand!

DAMN!
posted by Hugh Janus 10 July | 16:09
"Where y'all at?" is good, Nas is good, he's a deeply smart man I think, even with serious cognac and blunt damage. But he sounds, I dunno, depressed?
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 16:11
Yup. Depressed may be right.
It's the state of Hip Hop these days.
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 16:13
Finally, everybody knows that Bumpy Knuckles is the actual toughest man in rap, no question, freddie foxx.


Now I have to go home and kick a little verse to the Omaha steaks I hide in my freezer instead of stacks of cash.

Cook Beef!
Sizzle!
I'ma do you like Arsenio did that diseased rhino pizzle.



Joe Famous, if I go look up Little Egypt can I hear some of your stuff on internetwax, as it where?
posted by Divine_Wino 10 July | 16:16
Enjoyed this, JF... I, too, would love to hear Little Egypt...
posted by Pips 10 July | 16:20
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 16:20

LITTLE EGYPT
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 16:22
I met Tony Orlando at one of my old jobs. He's really nice.
posted by SassHat 10 July | 16:23
I believe in Guru. If he pulls the trigger on his fully loaded lines you're gonna wish he woulda pulled a black nine; he macks dimes.

The Divine_Wino that I know would help out the rhino: He'd break sales records at Eckerds buying salve for its pecker.

Hey that festival is coming up, eh? I gotta mobilize my troop.
posted by Hugh Janus 10 July | 16:27
Lillte Egypt @ Grassroots Info
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 16:29
http://www.grassrootsfest.org/trumansburg/
posted by Joe Famous 10 July | 16:30
Awesome.

I like the Dan Bern song 'Jerusalem' for what he says about the box:

And if you must put me in a box
Make sure it's a big box
With lots of windows
And a door to walk through
And a nice high chimney
So we can burn burn burn
Everything that we don't like
And watch the ashes
Fly up to Heaven
Maybe all the way to India
I'd like that


posted by Miko 10 July | 16:38
box, it was Faster Pussycat.
posted by jonmc 10 July | 18:18
Thanks, jonmc. I knew I could count on you.
posted by box 10 July | 19:51
This was awesome. But can someone tell me why I like rap as poems rather than as rap?
posted by TrishaLynn 11 July | 06:46
Kinky stays "Kinky," but "Grandma" gets the boot. || THIS IS A SHOUTING THREAD!

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