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12 December 2005

When did you realize that you were an "adult"? [More:]I don't mean "grown up", because grown ups are boring. But that point in time when you thought "huh. I'm an adult now and there's no going back until I'm infirm and infertile lying in a bed of shit of my own making"?
I think it was the day I saw some MTV at a friend's house and found it completely alien and incomprehensible. If nothing else, that made me realize that I'd been kicked out of the youth marketing demographic, and that I'd best just get used to the idea of growing into a steadily weirder adulthood.

And it's nice here in adultland. Who needs the kids with their MTVs and thong songs and god-awful haircuts? GET OFF MY GRASS, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!
posted by cobra! 12 December | 12:22
When my son was born. Until that day, I was totally nine-years old. An unfortunate set of circumstances in some respects. But if you can pull it off, well, you might as well. Right? I'm still pretty young though, so I think I have some latitude. I suspect that a lot of people are going to say they became adults at a later age. At least I hope so. That would make me feel slightly more mature.
posted by panoptican 12 December | 12:23
When I was told that I have high blood pressure, which is due to my smoking, I suspect. And my bad eating habits. Oh, and when my sister had a kid. And when my friend was diagnosed with cancer and died at a month shy of 33. Which is only five years from how old I am.

It all goes downhill from here.
posted by TrishaLynn 12 December | 12:26
Last summer when I found myself wanting to yell at the 12 year old boys who were using my driveway and back lawn as a shortcut.

GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! is right.
posted by anastasiav 12 December | 12:29
About 6 years ago, I was walking through the Dadeland Mall in Florida, and saw a buxom young lady in Daisy Dukes and a tight midriff baring top. Instead of thinking "Va-va-voom!' I thought, "Does your mother know your wearing that?"

That was the day. I was 29.
posted by jonmc 12 December | 12:32
It comes and goes.
posted by matildaben 12 December | 12:32
Still waiting.
posted by Capn 12 December | 12:34
The birth of my first child.
posted by bunnyfire 12 December | 12:46
About 8 years ago.

I've taken myself very seriously from a very young age.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 December | 12:46
I have 17 year old sister who has made me feel ancient since the day she was born. She mocks me for listening to "old person" music. Then there was the time I had to explain to her and her friends what a thermos was. Members of the Juicebox Generation, they had never had one in their lunchbox. (Which means they never knew the joy of consuming lukewarm soup at school.)
posted by jrossi4r 12 December | 12:53
When I looked at a mother and her coed daughter and experienced a sexual attraction dilemma.
posted by warbaby 12 December | 12:54
I'll be sure to let all of you know when it happens!
posted by kellydamnit 12 December | 13:00
When I started living with this college freshman. All the identity crises and all the drama drama drama - I'm a little amused, but it mostly just tires me out.

I realized I was "grown up" yesterday, when I came down with my first cold in 2 years, and no one is around to take care of me... Where's momma to make me chicken soup?
posted by muddgirl 12 December | 13:01
*Hands muddgirl a Thermos full of chicken soup.*
posted by jrossi4r 12 December | 13:04
When kids standing in front of a liquor store asked me to buy them booze. The problem was I was only 19 and I was also looking for someone to buy me booze. And they called me "mister".
posted by Slack-a-gogo 12 December | 13:11
I was born with a cigarette in one hand and a steaming cup of Joe in the other. Boy was Joe pissed! The doctor slapped me so I peed in his face and said, "Hey, watch the beverage here, Dr. Kevorkian! Okay, who's up for nachos?"

So... I was born old. 42 years later, and I'm still working on the maturity angle.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 12 December | 13:14
When I was sixteen and left for college. My mother dropped me off at the airport and I flew three thousand miles away to start my real life. Of course, I was really bad at being an adult for the next six or seven years, but I never doubted that's what I was. Now, I still don't feel good at it, but I feel more estabblished, and that helps.
posted by dame 12 December | 13:17
I have those age moments that you guys are talking about, but I've also always had a very continuous sense of self. I've always been just me - never a child - I mean, my thought patterns have always been very stable. Maybe I'm trying to say I've always been an adult? Just, in the custody of older people for a time. And I have/will have no children, so I don't have that break either. And yes, from a very early age a preoccupation with the utter unfairness of my own death.
posted by rainbaby 12 December | 13:18
I think rainbaby nailed it for me: continuous sense of self with age moments.

Although... this birthday was the first one I've had where I wasn't excited to be getting older. That clock is ticking, man.
posted by Specklet 12 December | 13:22
I've never had that "a ha!" moment. What rainbaby said is fairly close to my experience. I'm younger now than I've ever been.

I'll be 39 in three days and boy, does that seem weird. Not bad just ... odd.
posted by deborah 12 December | 13:28
What rainbaby said as well, though I feel that this coming mid-January might be a different story, as I will be turning 40. But my wife is 27, so I got that going for me.
posted by tr33hggr 12 December | 13:32
I started losing my hair this year. I think that pretty much did it.
posted by brainwidth 12 December | 13:33
I think mine's starting to go to, brainwidth. There was head hair all over my keyboard yesterday, no kidding. I'm gonna look really weird bald.
posted by jonmc 12 December | 13:35
Perhaps we can share head-shaving tips over some pickled eggs sometime.
posted by brainwidth 12 December | 13:40
I realized I was really a grown up when I stepped up to the podium and eulogized my father. It will be ten years in February. I was 32.

I realized I had crossed some magic barrier into being an irrelevant old guy while I was going to cooking school this past winter. Apparently, once you are over 40, nobody under 30 is willing to acknowledge that you're still human.
posted by briank 12 December | 13:43
A friend of mine just turned 40. I need to get that man some cigars.
posted by cmonkey 12 December | 13:51
the first time I said to a friend who was driving pretty fast, "slow down"
posted by matteo 12 December | 13:54
Probably when I had my own apartment and didn't have to tell anybody where I was going and when I would be back. I love being an adult. Once you're an adult, you can't get "in trouble" like you do when you're a kid. Today, if I happen to get fired, that's my problem. If I'd gotten fired when I was a teenager, I'd be fired PLUS have to catch shit for it when I got home.
posted by JanetLand 12 December | 14:11
When I looked into the bathroom mirror this morning and saw I had grey nosehairs.
posted by Smart Dalek 12 December | 14:17
Looking in the garage, I also see life stole my motorcycle and went off without so much as a howdy-do.
posted by Smart Dalek 12 December | 14:19
i haven't but i've been getting away with it for ages
posted by ethylene 12 December | 14:21
Not long after I turned 18 I realized that I hadn't changed my mind much about anything in a while, and I was fairly clear on who I was, what I believed and what mattered to me. I decided that meant I was an adult. Ha ha! I look back at that child from the vantage point of a little over two decades and snicker and point. I'm younger than that now. Although I'm still pretty much the same.
posted by mygothlaundry 12 December | 14:24
*cues up My Back Pages*
posted by warbaby 12 December | 14:30
When I go to the grocery store and spend my own money on food. Then, I'll look at what I'm buying and feel like I owe my childhood self a shopping cart full of candy, ice cream and soda (because wasn't that always the goal?.

When I stay up all night without trying to call in sick to work. When I do the laundry and dishes voluntarily.

I think I most felt like an adult (and panicked a bit)was when I comforted my father at his father's funeral, and kept thinking how strange this whole thing is.
posted by SassHat 12 December | 14:40
Ha. Thinking what warbaby was thinking. (Before mygothlaundry cued it up.)

I dunno. In a lot of ways, I'm still acting like I'm not an adult. I have gray hairs! No longer mostly in the beard, either. But maybe part of it recently is realizing my dad is, or at least is turning into, a jerk, and dealing with that.
posted by stilicho 12 December | 15:02
It's a realization that hit me several times. Once when I seriously contemplated graduation from college (cue senior year meltdown), again when I realized I hated my job and it was my fault I was stuck in it (cue quarter-life crisis), again when I bought a condo (cue adult sized debt).
posted by me3dia 12 December | 15:12
What I meant by "it comes and goes" is, well, here I am living in a vibrant urban neighborhood, single, no kids, still renting, spending most of my money on collecting indie CDs and going out to shows, but on the other hand, I have gray hairs, high cholesterol, don't understand MTV or kids' fashion, and have a decent job that pays me twice as much money as I earned in my 20's.

I think I had my "turning 30 crisis" around 28, but I haven't had my "turning 40 crisis" yet (and it's less than 2 months to my 40th birthday).

Pat answer: The day I spent nearly $1000 on a piece of furniture.
posted by matildaben 12 December | 15:41
Definitely having a kid woke me up to adulthood pretty f...ing fast. It was a rude awakening for me since I was young and totally lacking in ambition. But someone in the house has to be the grownup and its not going to be that drooling bundle of joy so it's got to be you. I'm still pretty shocked when I see myself in photos and think "who the hell is that boring respectable middle-age guy, that can't be me."
posted by octothorpe 12 December | 15:43
It really hit me a few years ago when I was looking through a music catalog (HMV) and I only recognized about a third of the bands... that, and I spotted a CD I had just purchased (Buena Vista Social Club) in the 'Adult Contemporary' section.

p.s.: I just did the math... the Buena Vista Social Club CD came out in 1997, so that 'few years ago' was actually 8 years. That means I've felt 'adult' for almost a decade. Yikes!
posted by Fuzzy Monster 12 December | 15:45
It was the day I realized that I didn't have to prove anything - coolness, intelligence, taste, what have you - to anyone. As the philosopher said, I yam what I yam. The mid-life crisis sorta moved things along in that regard, too. Actually, the two had a lot to do with each other, truth be told.

That said, my inner child is usually still at the wheel.
posted by bmarkey 12 December | 15:46
I feel like an adult in certain aspects of my life, and like a complete kid in others.

A big moment was when we employed a smokin' hot (and extremely smart) young technician, and instead of lusting after him immediately I thought: "that's the sort of boy I would like my putative future daughter to date".

And I'm only 30. *sigh*
posted by gaspode 12 December | 15:50
Never. Death first.
posted by Eideteker 12 December | 15:51
When I looked into the bathroom mirror this morning and saw I had grey nosehairs.

Ha! Wait 'til you see grey pubes. ;^)
posted by deborah 12 December | 16:18
Actually, here's another one. When I realized that memories of times when I was living on my own (i.e., not a kid) were from TEN YEARS AGO.
posted by matildaben 12 December | 17:22
When did you realize that you were an "adult"?

huh?
posted by quonsar 12 December | 17:43
i'm pretty sure i'm not allowed to answer this question.
posted by mayfly wake 12 December | 19:51
The time (shortly after grad school) when I eschewed going to the massive free concert/drugfest/hookup in Grant Park in Chicago on the 4th of July one year because I was on deadline for a writing assignment. During that (hot, miserable) afternoon, a bunch of teenagers were shooting firecrackers out in the alley behind my apartment. Irritated, I threw open the window and screamed -- with ZERO irony -- "hey, you kids, do your parents know what you're doing? One of you's gonna lose an eye!"

As I slammed the window shut (amid hoots of laughter), it suddenly occured to me that, yep, the clock was indeed ticking on my own goddamn mortality. At which point I went to the store to get a sixpack, then finished the damn writing assigment drunk -- which seemed, at least, like a good compromise between "responsible adult" and "extended adolescent."
posted by scody 12 December | 21:21
dudes: i just spent the last hour wearing precisely a t-shirt and a sweater and that is it.


no effing way am i an adult yet. this is not me bragging.
posted by sam 13 December | 02:06
For yoga, as requested || I liked this sign

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